There is so much stigma around not breastfeeding your child that it's led one dad to completely lose his mind. In a post on Reddit's "Am I the A-hole?" the mom of a 10-month-old daughter explains that her baby has recently started biting during breastfeeding. She tries to tell her "no" and put her down immediately when she does it.
But she writes, "My breasts kind of look like a war zone — I'm bleeding and sore because of the biting and simply cannot take it anymore." She's been pumping, but even that has been painful because her breasts are so injured.
So she's been doing a mix of pumping and formula, but her husband is super against it. "He believes that breastmilk is best and formula is the devil because it's not 'natural' or something," she writes. Oh boy.
It's gotten to the point where her husband has actually hidden the formula from her so she'd have "no choice" but to hurt herself and breastfeed their daughter. Oh. Hell. No.
When she asks him why he's doing this, she writes, "He simply says he doesn't think I'm trying hard enough because I stopped simply because she's biting me and that a good mother wouldn't stop doing what's best for her child simply because she's in pain."
Welp, this guy is a lunatic who clearly has no regard for the health and wellness of his own wife. First of all, formula is fine. Plenty of babies thrive on it. Second of all, their daughter is already 10 months old and only recently started biting, which leads me to believe that she's gotten 10 months of nutritious breastmilk.
At this point, it's more than OK and understandable to pump and supplement with formula. Holy hell. Let the woman's breasts heal! Commenters were appalled at her husband's actions.
"This is just plain awful, there's no mincing words, no other way to put it," one person wrote. "How f--king dare he? I am filled with righteous indignation on your behalf. A good husband wouldn't gaslight his wife into thinking that she is somehow doing her child wrong by making certain her child gets the nutrients she needs while make certain that her own body isn't relegated to the status of a chew toy."
Yes to that. "Have her bite HIS nipple and see how much his pain isn't a big deal," another person wrote. It shouldn't take that, but I have to agree that it would probably put him in his place immediately. "Also," they continue, "you don't need a justification to discontinue breastfeeding, regardless. Even if you just didn't feel like it anymore."
That's a good point, too. I worry about this guy in all areas of their life. If he's willing to gaslight his wife and keep her in pain, what else is he willing to do?
In the comments, OP claims that this is the first issue they've had, that he just really freaked out about this one. If that's the case, he's clearly bought into some harmful notions that mothers can't be "good" if they don't or can't breastfeed their babies. It's untrue, and he needs to get that through his thick skull.
And don't forget that their daughter is 10 months old! They're already starting to feed her some solid foods. This poor mom has to supplement breastmilk and solid food with a little bit of formula to make sure she's not in constant pain. The fact that her husband won't support her in that and in fact, actively forbids it is unacceptable.