As a species, human beings are capable of some pretty weird things, especially when you compare our cultural rituals/customs against those of other animals. There's an argument to be made that the idea of marriage and how we go about it is a convoluted practice at best and one that becomes even stranger when you account for all of the other traditions associated with it.
Take bachelor/bachelorette parties for example. Sure, there's something to be said about throwing a little gathering/celebration with your personal friends before you go to yet another celebration you probably spent a down payment on a house on. And then there's even more celebrating to be had as you hop on a plane or travel somewhere for a honeymoon as you have to go to yet another location in order to further commemorate your love for this other person.
And in the months, weeks, and days leading up to a wedding, oftentimes the true character of people begins to seep out, as is usually the case in pressurized situations. Unfortunately, this soon-to-be-bride on Reddit learned in devastating fashion that the man she was planning to marry wasn't someone she could trust.
In a now-deleted Reddit post uploaded to the AITA sub, user @Anxious-Tax3838 turned to folks online for help after making the difficult decision to cancel her wedding three days before it was set to take place.
The reason? Her fiance breached a relationship agreement they had during his bachelor party celebration, which she saw for herself in a video of the pre-ceremony festivities.
For their respective parties, the two of them had agreed that there wouldn't be any strippers or activities of a sexual nature. OP said that her and her pals rented out a yacht for the weekend and had a grand old time together hanging out on a boat, hopefully listening to this song while doing so.
Their parties took place at the same time and OP says that when she returned from her weekend, she had an awful hangover as she and her pals were drinking, something the groom didn't seem to appreciate: "All of us got very wasted, to be honest, and the next day, when I returned home, I was suffering from a hangover, and my fiancé was kinda upset with me and believed I was being inappropriate."
However, her guilt soon turned to anger after one of her bridesmaids sent her a video of her soon-to-be-husband dancing with strippers: "She sent me the video and it was some of the groomsmen and my fiancé dancing with strippers and doing extremely inappropriate things with them."
This led to an argument between the bride and groom and she asked him why he was attempting to make her feel culpable of wrongdoing when all she did was drink and sing karaoke while he was partying it up with strippers. Although he apologized profusely and said he had gotten carried away with his pals, she wasn't liking what she was hearing.
So she canceled the wedding.
"I notified our families separately and I've been called all names in the book by both families for doing so. They said they understand why I might feel upset but these things are normal to happen and I should not let my emotions take over."
She told her guests what happened, and a lot of her friends and family members said that she was being too extreme in her decision, especially because they spent so much money.
What's more, is that OP said her own parents have seemingly turned on her for getting upset over a "silly small thing," but she stayed steadfast in calling off the wedding.
Many commenters on her post supported her decision to do so.
"It's not normal. And you had a very specific agreement that he broke and lied about it. Not only that, but he purposely blamed you for getting drunk, because he was building up a defense in case he got caught," one commenter wrote.
Others said that the idea of a "last night of freedom" is a toxic mindset to adopt.
"It’s NOT NORMAL. Exactly! My husband got his groomsmen together to move furniture to our new place for his bachelors. I was even there to help the guys and buy pizza. I didn’t even have a bachelorette just a shower because both of us wanted nothing to do with implied cheating."
One user seems to cut to the heart of what propelled OP's decision when they wrote: "Someone who not only lies to you about a very clear, mutually agreed upon boundary, but shames and gaslights (this is the correct use I swear) you into thinking that you broke that boundary when you very clearly didn't, someone who takes your joy away just to assuage their own guilty conscience, is not marriageable. Sex aside, you cannot share responsibility for finances, healthcare, children with someone so undeserving of trust."
What do you think? Should she have gone on with the wedding anyway? Or is that a weak choice and she's only further setting herself up for more heartbreak if she decided to marry the groom?