Tons of stand-up comedians build entire careers on their inability to talk to members of the opposite sex, especially male comedians.
Maybe it's due to awkwardness, or growing up in a family dynamic that was inherently patriarchal, or being part of a religious community that frowns heavily on the "co-mingling" of different genders. Maybe they were nerdy teens growing up or they were dealing with self-esteem issues.
Communicating via text, especially through internet dating services or random social media DMs, has only further exacerbated these woes for people. Some of their cluelessness can be chalked up to naïveté.
But in some instances, the poor efforts in communication are just a result of ignorance or being flat-out, misogynistic, jerkwads.
Often, men's mean and callous comments toward women on dating sites are a direct result of an inability to handle rejection. So fragile are our egos (this is coming from a dude who's got a pretty frail ego and perception of himself) that we might fall into the trap of attacking someone else in a ruthless fashion.
Some people are better at identifying this in themselves than others. Sadly, the dude who went on a Tinder date with 24-year-old Kimberley Latham-Hawkesford wasn't one of those self aware guys.
She matched with the guy on Tinder and they had a coffee date that went well enough they decided to get dinner and keep getting to know each other.
Sadly, the experience devolved from there.
Probably because she's a normal human being, Kimberley found it odd when the guy asked her if she would consider getting plastic surgery. Perhaps even weirder, he whipped out his phone to show her his bank balance after she offered to split the check, assuring that he could afford it.
That's all it really took for Kim to decide it was probably best they went their separate ways.
But the guy seems to have held a grudge against Kimberley, so much so he compiled a list of 15 things she could do to "improve herself" that were in no way disparaging, insulting, insensitive, or an expression of his own self-delusion and utter lack of willingness to improve his own personality.
Just kidding, it's all of that.
Kimberley shared screenshots of the messages she received from the dude on her Facebook page, with the message, "Imagine being so far up your own ass you'd send this to a girl 3 months after a date 🤦 ."
He starts off by telling her everything she could've done to not only make the date better — as if he had nothing to do with the fact that it stunk — but also ways she could improve herself as a woman.
Right out of the gate, he tells her she could stand to lose 14 or so pounds, that she was too pale and could do with some spray tanning or actual tanning, and that she should show her boobs off more.
The real kicker is that he tells her to wear more form-fitting clothing so he's not "embarrassed" to be seen with her, and add extensions to her hair. Bizarrely, that suggestion is immediately followed up with suggesting she "look more natural."
But oh does it get better.
He then tells her she should consider getting lip fillers (right after telling her to look more natural) and that she needs to be more confident, despite the fact that he's literally sending her a list designed to try and make her feel self-conscious.
He also castigated her for not trying to sex it up with him, which is a shame because it hurt his feelings and "messed" with his ego. I personally think his ego's fine if he thought this message was a good idea.
My favorite part, however, is faulting her for not laughing at his jokes. You know, it had nothing to do with whether his jokes were funny.
He ultimately thought her personality needed "sorting out" because his is absolutely pristine, naturally, and ended his message by extending an invitation to have a second date — if she addresses all her "flaws" first, of course. Kimberley obviously wasn't interested in following up with this absolute charmer of a man and says, while she was initially taken aback and felt self-conscious when he sent her the douche-commandments, she ultimately laughed it off and felt kind of sorry for him.
Sadly, there are other cases of guys being totally clueless and brutally honest to the point of stupidity. In this next instance though, it happened when a guy was already in a relationship with someone.
This guy on Reddit posed a question to the community when he asked if he was in the wrong for "not being attracted to [his] girlfriend's body." And while not being physically attracted to someone isn't a crime (probably a bad idea to be in a relationship with someone if you aren't), how he told her is making people drop their jaws in shock.
After she expressed feeling self-conscious about her bust size, she asked him if he was "OK" with her flat chest.
The guy, personally preferring more "curvy" figures, confessed he does like bigger breasts and said it's the reason he prefers when she faces away from him during sex.
She left and later texted him to tell him how hurt she was. No one wants to be told by their significant other that they don't find them attractive, do they?
The responses ranged from "what the hell" to "this guy must be trolling" then back to "oh my God he isn't" which was confirmed in a follow-up post where, to his credit, he at least acknowledged he entered into the relationship subconsciously knowing it wouldn't last.
He also made it clear he knows he messed up and wants to fix his tendency to blurt out brutally honest stuff regardless of people's feelings. He also feels like breaking up with her is probably the best thing to do.
Painfulness all around, but probably the best move.
This other dude thought it'd be a good idea to start a betting pool for his friend's wedding as to when the couple would divorce. To top it all off, he was the best man at the wedding and swears it was just a lighthearted "joke" that would ultimately net the bride and groom $3,000 if their marriage made it to 2041.
But if you were a bettor and you guessed the year they divorced, you'd get the whole pot (minimum bet was $50). Multiple people who guessed the same year would split the pot.
It would be one thing if the betting pool was secret, but it ended up being the subject of his best man speech. It went down about as well as you'd expect. The families begged him to stop his speech and the bride started crying.
It gets worse: afterwards, the couple felt like they couldn't trust anyone who actually participated in the bet.
I mean, wouldn't you?
In a similar story, there was another poster who couldn't bear the thought of his pal entering into a marriage with someone he didn't think was right for him. He told him the wedding was a huge mistake and wanted to know if he was the bad guy for pointing it out. After reading his story, however, he wasn't really the jerk in this scenario.
Throughout the course of the relationship, the poster witnessed his friend becoming much more restrained than usual. He wasn't laughing. He wasn't happy. He wasn't talkative. He wasn't the same, happy-go-lucky person that he was and ended up parroting ideologies and philosophies his girlfriend possessed that he didn't have prior.
To top it all off, she ended up getting a job "1.5 hours" away from the city they lived in, forcing him to switch jobs to accommodate. He works as a day trader and wanted to stay in the city and stay in that hustle, but she wasn't about it at all. He looked totally miserable, which led to this concerned friend asking Reddit if he'd be the jerk to tell his friend to call the impending wedding off.
I know they say honesty is the best policy, but you definitely gotta weigh out what the greatest good will be.
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