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Source: Buena Vista Pictures / Twitter

People Share the Most Insane Cooking Mistakes They've Witnessed Men Make

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Have you ever watched in horror as someone did something in the kitchen that you've never seen another human being do in your entire life? That's what this thread is. One person shared the insane thing she once watched a man do in her kitchen after she gave him a simple instruction, and so many people had similar stories. 

Yes, most of them are about dudes who somehow lose all semblance of logic and intelligence when they enter a kitchen. If you'll come away from this insane list of cooking and kitchen fails with any new knowledge, it's that men really need to get it together.

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Source: Twitter

I don't understand. Was he not aware of the existence of knives? Or was he trying to prove how strong he was? Either way, he made a complete fool of himself. Fellas: Cut your cauliflower with a knife. Please.

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Source: Twitter

One of the simplest things you can be tasked with in a kitchen is to open a jar of spaghetti sauce. She didn't even say to do anything with the sauce! Just open it! He just couldn't help himself from ruining their dinner! I can just taste the watery tomato sauce, and it does not taste good.

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Source: Twitter

If your guy can't cook, the least he can do is wash the dishes after the meal, right? There's no possible way to mess that up. I thought. But he didn't know to use soap to wash dishes! And this was a grown man!

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Source: Twitter

Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off of the floor. This is insane. He ate two-and-a-half pounds of raw sausage for lunch at work. What were his lunch mates thinking? If I watched my coworker eat over two pounds of raw sausage in front of me, I'd be convinced I was at the beginning of a zombie movie.

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Source: Twitter

It's truly like dudes lose all common sense when they enter a kitchen. Who hasn't toasted a bagel before? Or eaten a bagel with cream cheese? This guy must have experienced a bagel before. What he did to toast that bagel is egregious.

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Source: Twitter

No! No! Noooo! I have no other words. If microwaved plain chicken and shrimp is what this man serves to his date, can you imagine what he eats when he's by himself? This is horrifying on so many levels.

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Source: Twitter

Clearly, this man had never been in a kitchen before and knew nothing about oven mittens. His "this is the worst part" leads me to believe that this was not the first time he touched a piping hot metal oven rack with his bare hands. The fact that he never thought to protect his hands with anything — a towel, a bunch of napkins, anything — is shocking.

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Source: Twitter

I'm so sorry, guys. The horrors never stop, apparently. These tweets are making me so surprised that there aren't more cases of grown men getting salmonella. What what what are they doing?

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Source: Twitter

Listen, we've all over-salted our dinners by mistake every now and then. But an extra tablespoon of salt is way too much, let alone an entire quarter cup. The person who uses a quarter cup of salt to season their dinner clearly has never seasoned anything ever, I guess. That's the only explanation.

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Source: Twitter

So, there is a variety of kiwi what has smooth, edible skin, but I imagine this was not that type of kiwi. I imagine this was the type of kiwi with the tough, fuzzy skin. And I cannot believe he ate it whole. 

I do have a friend who told me about the first time he ever tried lobster when he was a kid. He didn't know why it was so crunchy. It was because he was also trying to eat the shell. 

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Source: Twitter

To be fair, potatoes, being root vegetables, are often quite dirty. That being said, a good scrub with some water and a potato brush should suffice. You definitely don't want soapy potatoes.

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Source: Twitter

I would die. I guess if you're not familiar with pomegranates, it can be a confusing fruit, but the thought of a whole pomegranate's worth of seeds ending up in the trash because this guy thought the peel was the valuable part is hurting my heart.

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Source: Twitter

There is nothing sadder than food that has fallen through the oven rack. It's even sadder when it's chicken pot pie. Just a tragedy. At least this guy probably learned his lesson, though, right? One can only hope.

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Source: Twitter

He was — and I cannot stress this enough — slapping raw chicken with his bare hand. And then he moved on to a bath towel. I hope that wasn't the towel he uses to dry himself off. But at this point, I wouldn't be surprised.

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Source: Twitter

The only thing that I can think is that maybe he knew that sometimes, when kneading bread dough, you should use your hand. Obviously, I know and you know that that doesn't apply to mashing potatoes, though. I bet their guests were like, "Mmm, these mashed potatoes are delicious. What's that kind of earthy flavor?" and they were like, "Oh, that's hand."

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Source: Twitter

Box cake is almost too easy to make, so I don't really understand how someone could mess it up. But I do have to admit, I've definitely thought about a pizza sandwich. Not sure what the four slices of toast is about — seems like too much bread — but honestly, I don't hate the concept.

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Source: Twitter

This just goes to show you that even ostensibly very smart, skilled men sometimes have trouble identifying vegetables. Did he try to make a salad out of it? I need to know what made him upset about his "bad lettuce."

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Source: Twitter

She asked him to watch the broccoli for a reason: so it didn't get overcooked. Did he think that she just wanted him to...keep the broccoli company? Tell it a story? Give it some encouraging words while it cooked? 

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Source: Twitter

I really need to know what this dude thought flour was. He's probably eaten things made with flour nearly every single day of his life, and he literally had no idea where it came from. Wowsers.

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Source: Twitter

Look, I love garlic as much as the next person. It's delicious. But this is way overboard. Was he trying to keep vampires away? That is the only explanation that makes any sense.