Instagram Account Posts the Most Egregious Crimes Against Food, and It's Horrifying

Robin Zlotnick - Author

Apr. 23 2020, Updated 2:45 p.m. ET

featured cooking for bae
Source: Instagram

When you or someone you love makes a homemade meal, aren't you just so proud? Don't you want to take a photo and share it on social media with all your friends? If you do, make sure it doesn't look like something a dog regurgitated. Because Instagram account Cooking For Bae collects all the "struggle plates" people post on social media and repost for the world to see. 

These are the truly baffling dishes, the gag-inducing plates that most of us would never go near, let alone celebrate with a Facebook post or a tweet. You are about to witness some of the most heinous crimes ever committed against food. You're welcome and I'm sorry.

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First of all, those are not lasagna noodles, so at best this is a baked pasta dish. Second of all, that is not cheese on top. I don't know what it is, but there is no cheese all the world that is that color. 

Chocolate chip cookies

Yes, these were supposed to be chocolate chip cookies. Instead, they are sad puddles of a dessert that will never be. Anyone with trypophobia might want to look away from this one.

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This is the saddest excuse for nachos I have ever seen in my entire life. That being said, and I know I will get some flak for this, I am not convinced it would taste horrible. It's not nachos, but it might be a pretty good drunk night snack.

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Cheesy fish

Is that super dry fish? Or super dry chicken? I think it's fish, based on the way it's flaking at the top. Many dishes on Cooking With Bae have slices of American cheese melted over them, but perhaps none as egregious as fish. And don't ask me. I have no idea what's in the middle.

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This person made sangria and put peas and carrots in it. I cannot! I simply cannot. This is beyond unbelievable. Were they just like, "Well, I don't have any fresh fruit, but you need something floating in there?" 

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Deviled eggs

Deviled eggs! What an apt name for a dish so clearly made by the devil. These soupy messes are obviously the work of an evil being from the netherworld.

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Noodle slop

I have two questions. Number one: Who sponsored this? And two: Can I speak to their manager?

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Cabbage soup

It look me a really long time to figure out what is going on in this picture, but I think that's cabbage swimming around in watery brother with some very sad, soggy bacon. Yeah, I don't want anything to do with it either.

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Blackened chicken

What, you've never heard of blackened chicken? It's a delicacy! This is extra sad because someone went through the trouble of buying and trying to cook a whole bird. 

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Banana pudding

This is clearly supposed to be banana pudding, but instead it's like a cereal bowl full of Nilla wafers, bananas, and milk. Newsflash: That's not how you make banana pudding!

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Peaches and beans

Someone brought these baked beans with canned peaches to an office potluck. This is proof that office potlucks are a scourge and should be outlawed. 

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Octopus-stuffed chicken

Nothing about this looks pleasant or even edible. Is this cooked? Or is it still raw? The fact that I even have to ask this question is concerning. Get out of here with this Lovecraftian nightmare. 

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Awww, it was so much of bae to make her a fresh zucchini quesadilla and then spit up a little on the side of the plate before serving it to her. This is what love is all about. 

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Swiss swirl cake

I think this is a combination of rolled cake and ice cream, but it really looks like a gelatinous meat mold with worms in it. I'm sorry! But I'm not wrong!

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Mac and cheese

I do not understand what's happening here. There is so much cheese sauce, yet none of it seems to be on the noodles. And look at how it's been scooped out. What a mushy disaster. How does one achieve such a spectacular failure? 

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Blueberry omelette

Just because you can make a blueberry omelette in no way means you should. Ever. There's no way this tastes good. Put down the fork and be honest with yourself, blueberry omelette man. You don't have to eat it. We forgive you.

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Popcorn chicken

Either someone tragically misinterpreted what popcorn chicken is or there is some horrifying mold growing all over this dish. I think it's the first one, which honestly doesn't make it that much better.

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Shrimp boil

Half the shrimp look raw and there seems to be no seasoning whatsoever within 20 feet of this dish. This is possibly the least appetizing attempt at a seafood boil I have ever seen.

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Kool-Aid ramen

I was so confused when I saw this blue-green soupy mess, but then I read the caption. After learning that it is Kool-Aid flavored ramen, I am simultaneously less and more bewildered. 

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Chicken strips

I truly hope someone stepped up on this woman's Facebook post and stopped her from eating raw chicken. There are so many terrible things you can do with food, but this one is actually terrible for you to put in your body. 

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This was only described as a "salad." The only identifiable items (I think) are blueberries and shredded cheddar cheese. Full disclosure: I've scrolled up so I can only see the very bottom portion of the photo as I write this because it's so gross it's making me gag.

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Rice and cookies

In case you can't tell, I believe this is a plate of plain white rice with some beans or stew on one side, some ketchup on the other, and the whole thing is topped with chocolate chip cookies. A travesty. I hope this person has graduated from dishes that look like this since 2017.

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Spam and eggs

Spam gets a bad rap precisely because of photos like this. As someone who is married to a person from Hawaii, I can vouch for Spam! It's actually delicious when it's prepared properly

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Fruity Pebble-crusted chicken

This is a chicken drumstick coated in Fruity Pebbles and fried in a pan. Is this OK? No. Do I want to try it anyway? Also no! This is so incredibly gross! Whoever made this should marry the Kool-Aid ramen person. I think they have similar taste.

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Cinnamon buns

These are actually perfect if you are setting up for a game of "Cinnamon Bun or Cat Poop?" It's a horrible game to play; I don't wish it on anyone. Especially with these cat-poop-looking monstrosities in the mix.

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