13 Nightmare Neighbors on the Nextdoor App

Amber Garrett - Author

Apr. 25 2019, Updated 12:24 p.m. ET

nextdoor neighbors posts farting
Source: Nextdoor

Every neighborhood has its weirdos: those houses that make you speed up as you walk past, or the excitable old grump you go out of your way to avoid. Honestly, if you can't pinpoint "that one guy" in your 'hood, chances are good it's you.

Thanks to the Nextdoor app, it's easier than ever to identify the nightmare residents on your block. Here are a few of the weirdos in your neighborhood who have clearly more time than sense.

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1. Soup fetishist

Unlike this poster, I am a big fan of soup. However, I'm not sure how keen I'd be on accepting strange soup left on my doorstep — especially when accompanied with a note like this. "Soup for my perfect little soup boy"? How about a restraining order for your perfectly creeped out neighbor?

2. Someone teach this woman what "urgent" means

As many of the respondents pointed out, sometimes people turn into driveways that aren't theirs for numerous reasons. Maybe they mistook it for their own or the house they were visiting. Maybe they needed to pull a quick u-turn. Maybe they are a traveling salesperson. Whatever the reason Green Truck had for daring to pull in and out of this poster's driveway, I'm not entirely certain it's an event worthy of alerting the entire neighborhood. 

This is definitely the sort of neighbor who calls the police when you leave your garbage cans out too long.

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3. Hey, jealousy.

Wow, Sean, Brittany, and Melissa either need to take their love triangle private or get a reality TV deal with VH1. 

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4. I have so many questions...

nextdoor app nuclear blast
Source: reddit

Of course speeding in residential areas is a valid concern, especially if there's a lot of children, elderly pedestrians, or dogs in the neighborhood. So I have no problem whatsoever with this navy vet asking folks in the area to slow down. But I'm a little confused by his claim that his military training has prepared him to be "thrown clear" in the event of a nuclear blast. I'm intrigued what kind of skills one might acquire in the Navy to make them impervious to cars and weapons of mass destruction.

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5. 'Old Man Yells at Laundry Cloud'

Personally, I love the smell of laundry in the dryer, but I get that some people are more sensitive to perfumes than others. But to be so offended by a dryer sheet that you put the entire neighborhood on blast is bordering on insane.

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6. Wow, thanks for the "advice."

nextdoor app dog allergies
Source: reddit

The top comment here is in response to a person asking for advice on dealing with their dogs' allergies. Clearly the top commenter "Chas" is not a dog person, since he immediately suggests euthanizing the poor pooches. The commenter on the bottom clearly knows this grumpy neighbor — perhaps a little too well. Someone check out Chas' backyard for freshly dug earth, STAT.

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7. Your friendly neighborhood anti-vaxxer.

nextdoor app antivaxxer outdoor bedroom
Source: reddit

There's a lot to unpack with this post from a neighbor looking for outdoor bedroom furniture — so much so it got its own post. Apparently, not only is "Jericho" at risk of contracting measles but he also plans to spend the summer sleeping outside. Seems super healthy for everyone involved. 

Whoever "REBECCA" is, I have a feeling she and I would be good friends.

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8. Is farting a misdemeanor or a felony?

Is this person for real? Complaining about someone farting outside on their own property is silly enough, but the fact that this is categorized as "crime and safety" is the real cherry on top. As far as I know there are zero fatalities associated with being either the one who smelt it or the one who dealt it.

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9. No thanks, Barry.

Or, I don't know, maybe you're into Barry's sex party. I'm not here to kink shame. 

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10. ...What?

nextdoor app
Source: reddit

This commenter pretty much said it for everyone. It's not clear where people are putting the number 666 and on what. Some kind neighbor ought to do a wellness check on this neighbor to make sure everything's OK.

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11. Hard pass, ma'am.

nextdoor app dead dog
Source: reddit

So from what I can tell here, the OP a) drowned their dog or found it had drowned on its own, b) did a half-assed job burying the poor dog, and c) wants a friendly neighbor to dig up that dog's corpse, double bag it, and put it in their trunk to take to the crematorium. I feel for this person, of course. Their husband is going through cancer treatments and they just lost their dog. But I can't see myself doing a favor of this magnitude for any neighbor of mine,

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12. Roommate needed — no drugs or eating, plz

nextdoor roommate non eater
Source: Twitter

I'm not really sure what's going on with this guy whose first language is (probably?) not English, but I think they'll find it very difficult to find a roommate that doesn't do drugs AND doesn't eat. Pick one, my dude. Here's hoping he finds that dream roommate to foot the bill for the other half of his place. Like maybe a house plant with a trust fund?

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13. This lady is either very fun or very unsettling.

nextdoor app cat lady
Source: Twitter

Honestly, this post sounds like a joke to me, and if it is, I definitely want to share a fence with whoever wrote it, because this is the kind of lighthearted trolling I can get behind 100 percent. But if they're serious, I'm going to need to get a Ring doorbell stat. Anyone this into their cats' love lives is a red flag for me. 

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