A viral Reddit piece posted under the handle @recentlygaveaway uploaded a confession that caused a hullabaloo on the popular social media platform, titled: "Today I’ll (45M) have to tell my son (28m) his new girlfriend’s (35f) child might be mine."
In it, he specifies that there was "no cheating involved" as he dated this woman two years ago.
He had no idea that his son was dating this woman, who is seven years his senior, and he discovered that she has a one and a half year old that may very well be his.
In the post, he revealed the guilt and anxiety he felt in finally having to reveal to his child that he is possibly the dad of the child his son may ultimately become a father figure.
He writes in the confession: "There was no cheating involved whatsoever. I’d never do that to my own son. He’s only been seeing her for about 4 months from what he’s told me but she and I dated 2 years ago. But it ended because I was going to be traveling out of work for months, we just lost contact."
"She has a one-and-a-half-year-old son that is very likely my child. My son told me the father isn’t involved but hasn’t given him any other details other than it’s just her raising the kid. I was the one to connect the dots as soon as I realized it was her. You can’t imagine how unbelievably awkward the first time meeting was."
He continued, "Thankfully it was with other family members around but she was just as freaked out as I was. This can’t be kept a secret though if this is my child I need to know. And as much as it pains me to put my son in this messed up position he needs to know too. He’s coming over later on so we could talk. I’m beyond nervous I really don’t even know where to start explaining something like this to him."
Tons of Redditors suggested that he conduct a paternity test before "spilling the beans" to his son as a means of avoiding any unnecessary drama.
There were others who thought that it would be just plain wrong if he didn't tell his son that he used to date his current girlfriend for multiple reasons: either it would come out at some point and/or the weirdness of the situation must be addressed.
Some speculated that the post was made up, highlighting how irregular it was for OP to not know who his son was dating so many months into their relationship. However, there were some Redditors who pointed out that someone his son's age (28 years old) wouldn't necessarily be talking to his father about every aspect of his life on a daily basis.
"I don't think it's terribly uncommon not to meet your partner's parents within the first 6 months. My own family didn't meet my partner for a year or two, and we don't do pictures," @PaganPrincess22 wrote.
"I didn’t meet my fiancé’s mom for 6 months. I met his dad since he was my boss. My late husband's parents (and siblings) came to where we had our first date," @One-Basket-9570 penned.
So what did OP ultimately decide to do? He opted to have a frank conversation with his son and bring up the possibility that his current girlfriend's child may very well be his kid.
His son did tell him that he loved him but needed some time alone to process the information. He also said that he is getting a paternity test conducted to see if the child does indeed belong to him.
"The conversation was not easy at all. My son was very confused and upset as would anyone honestly. I expected him to yell at me but the shock was too much for him to get a strong reaction but he was still very serious. I made sure he knew I’d understand if this is too much for him so whatever he needs from me I will try to do. As of right now he just needs some space. And I said in another comment that after our talk last night he messaged me about going over to her place so he can hear this from her too."
"Far as I know they have had their own talk. But not so sure about where they stand now. He didn’t talk to me all day until he sent me a message earlier telling me he loves me but he’s gonna need some time to himself which I completely understand. It’s not gonna be something he‘ll easily get over. As far as paternity well we still don’t know anything about that. I have communicated with her about finding a place where we can get this test done and out of the way, so we’ll be doing that this week. It can’t wait any longer otherwise its just gonna drive me crazy."
As of this writing, there are no further updates on the Reddit post.
What do you think OP should have done? Was it necessary for him to reveal to his son that he was romantically involved with his girlfriend? Or is ignorance bliss in some cases?