Dog Owners Are Happier Than Cat Owners — But Who Needed This Survey to Confirm It?

The results of a recent survey will probably fan the age-old flames of the "dogs vs. cats" debate as it's been revealed that dog owners are way happier.

While I think all animals are way better than human beings, they're not all created equal.

And as cute as cats are, who wouldn't want to be surrounded by the love of a dog 24/7? They're way more devoted than any human being and are definitely more fluffy, well, for the most part.

All of that love causes a lot of happiness in our species. So much, in fact, that it eclipses the feelings of joy and elation cat owners experience from their feline friends.

This is according to the results of the General Social Survey, which is run by NORC, a research organization at the University of Chicago. As it turns out, 36 percent of dog owners defined themselves as "very happy" as compared to 18 percent of cat owners.

I suspect this might have something to do with the fact that cats make you "work" for their love, or that they're pint-sized pure killing machines who only use humans as personal servants.

But there are other factors in the survey that need to be accounted for, which means the results aren't as simple as: "haha dogs are better so cat people can just go and lick themselves, much like the whiskered pets they've elected to allow into their homes."

The results of the survey, which were published in The Washington Post pointed out people's relationship statuses.

Dog owners are apparently more likely to be married and cohabitate, which are reportedly factors in overall satisfaction with life and happiness.

I know a lot of married folks who would beg to differ, but hey, surveys are surveys, right?

There was no mention of the measured levels of life-satisfaction for cat owners who are married and live in the same home.

This would've been a way better test of data; it could be that all of the cat owners they surveyed were crazy loveless people who had awful lives and couldn't honestly say that they were "very happy" with where they were at.

The GSS doesn't just survey cat and dog owners, either. In fact, they've been conducting all sorts of research, since 1972. For example, they polled people o how often they smoke marijuana, what kind of relationships they're having or, as in the case of today, not having.

One of their more recent studies shows that more than half of young Americans today don't have a romantic partner, which could be contributing to the epidemic of "sexlessness" among youths today.

I actually chalk all that up to people spending more time pretending like they're these glamorously sexy people than actually being that in real life, but what do I know, I'm just an old codger who remembers what life was like before the internet.

You can learn more about the survey agency here if you'd like to see any other interesting tidbits they picked up. Would any cat owners like to dispute the findings that the GSS arrived at?