Woman's Friend Lies About Getting Flu Vaccine to Visit Her Newborn Baby
She wanted everyone who was going to visit her new baby to have been vaccinated for the flu. Her friend told her she'd gotten the vaccine, but then, OP found out she'd lied.
A new mom posted to Reddit's "Am I the A-hole?" wondering if she would be wrong to break off a friendship "over a flu vaccine." It started with a simple request. She just had a baby! And, like any health-conscious new mom, she writes, "I've been telling friends and family that if they want to meet my baby in their early months of life, they have to get their vaccinations."
Makes sense, right? Newborn babies haven't been able to develop their immune systems, they're more susceptible to germs than older people, and the flu is a massive concern right now. Newborn babies and elderly people are at particular risk. The flu can be deadly if it's contracted by the wrong, vulnerable person. So, OP wanted everyone to get the flu vaccine before meeting her kid.
She writes, My best friend of a few years told me she got her vaccine, so I let her meet the baby. I found out after the fact that she lied about it. She did not get her vaccine. She claims that because she's not sick, and she didn't have to get one to meet her nephews, that my baby should be fine."
Yikes. Listen. Different strokes for different folks. Not every new parent will want their friends to be vaccinated before meeting their baby. But this was her supposed best friend who just gave birth to her first baby. Why wouldn't you do whatever she wanted to make her feel as comfortable as possible?! It's just indicative of a total lack of respect for her friend.
Not to mention, the fact that she's "not sick" doesn't mean she's not... about to get sick. She could have been responsible for causing a serious illness! What would her excuse be then?
OP wants to know if it would be an overreaction to cut her friend off completely because of this. Most commenters said she'd be completely justified.
"You're not breaking off the friendship because of a flu vaccine. You're breaking off a friendship because of a lie that put your baby's health and, possibly, life at risk," one person writes. This is the ultimate point. No matter what her friend's personal beliefs were about the situation, the right and respectful thing to do was to honor her wishes or not visit the baby until later on.
"You are the child's parent. She took away your choice in the matter and made the decision herself, and then lied about it," another writes. "Lying alone would be enough of a reason to cut off, but to go against your wishes regarding your child? BYE!"
I can't say I disagree. Did the friend think OP would never find out? What was her plan if the baby did end up getting sick? Would she come clean then? This is just such a big red flag that I can't imagine this friend treats OP much better in other areas of their friendship.
Even if OP was being overly cautious, even if it's sometimes OK for people to visit a newborn baby without having had the flu shot, it doesn't matter. Those were her wishes. Anyone who really cared about her would have followed them.
As one commenter very succinctly put it, "Your baby, your rules." I can't imagine having gone through months of pregnancy and a likely harrowing birth only to have a friend be like, "Nah, I don't want to follow the one rule you set in order to meet the person you created."
I feel strongly that, if this happened to me, I would no longer be friends with that person. The rule could have been anything; if I wanted you to wear a funny hat to meet my kid, you should do it, no questions asked. But the fact that this was a potentially life-threatening situation makes it all the more unconscionable.