Don't Worry, Be Hoppy! Celebrate Easter With 30 of the Most Hilarious Quotes


Apr. 7 2023, Updated 11:42 a.m. ET

Happy Easter!
Source: Getty Images

This Easter, let's all have a laugh. No matter how you're celebrating the holiday this year, we've compiled a list of funny Easter quotes you can share with your family and friends.

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Scroll through these uplifting Easter quotes and jokes that will be sure to put a smile on your face!

A easter bunny in a wooden basket with a pink ribbon
Source: Getty Images
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Here are 30 funny Easter quotes to share with friends and family!

1. "Tell the chocolate bunny I'll pass. I have enough men in my life who are hollow and disappointing." —Unknown

2. "The Easter bunny ate all of the carrots we left for him. What a pig." —Steve Carell

3. "A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, "When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off?'" —Jon Stewart

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4. "Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there." —Clarence W. Hall

5. "Golf is just the adult version of an Easter Egg Hunt."

6. "All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!" —Charles M. Schulz

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7. "If you see a rabbit laying little brown eggs, don't eat them. It's not chocolate!" —Unknown

8. "There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate." —Linda Grayson

9. "Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham." —Garrison Keillor

10. "The real reason Easter is on a different day each year is because sometimes it's difficult to remember which lie you told." — Jimmy Carr

11. "Easter is the only time of the year when it's perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket." — Kurt Avish

12. "Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the Winter Olympics." — Marvin Olasky

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13. "Easter is a time for dressing up, looking your best, and hunting for candy. It’s Halloween in reverse!" — Melanie White

14. "My mom asked me what I’m doing at Easter. I said the same as Jesus – going out Friday, coming back Monday." — Unknown

15. "My father was so cheap. Every Easter we’d wear the same clothes, but he’d take us to a different church." — A.J. Jamal

16. "I wanted to give up my children for Lent, but nobody would take them." — Melanie White

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17. "I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit… left chocolate eggs in the night." — Bill Hicks

18. "Easter has been canceled – they found the body." — Jim Butcher

19. "Easter shopping tip: When buying your daughter that frilly new Easter dress, try to visualize how it'll look with chocolate and grass stains all over it." — Melanie White

20. "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." —Bernard Meltzer

21. "Lent was invented so Catholics could take another shot at their New Year's resolutions." —Melanie White

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22. "My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you could get stuff cheaper." —Amy Sedaris

23. "My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs." —Adam Ferrara"

24. "I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had three eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs." —Caroline Rhea

25. "Easter egg hunts are proof your child can find things when they really want to." —Unknown

26. "Someone must X-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I'm not talking about this past Easter. I'm talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962." —Bill Maher

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27. "Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead — and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God." —Denis Leary

28. "That first Easter must have been awkward, because you know the apostles had already divided up Jesus' stuff." —William Ader

29. "Two thousand years ago, Jesus is crucified. Three days later, he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps, and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child." —Billy Crystal

30. "Follow the bunny, he has the chocolate!"

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