St. Patrick's Day
Source: istock

27 St. Patty's Day Jokes Everyone You Encounter on 3/17 Will Love

By

Mar. 16 2021, Updated 2:32 p.m. ET

What is it with March stealing all of the good holidays? First, there's National Pancake Day, Mardi Gras, Nap Day, International Women's Day and even Pi Day. Now St. Patrick's Day is right around the corner.

Article continues below advertisement

Well, we hope you have something green you're ready to show off this St. Patty's Day. To make sure you're ultra prepared for the holiday, we wanted to give you a bunch of jokes to tell your friends and family while you march along your parade or indulge in another Shamrock Shake. 

st patricks day jokes
Source: istock
Article continues below advertisement

St. Patrick's Day Jokes

1. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Because real rocks are too heavy.

2. What happens if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
You get a rash of good luck!

3. What kind of bow can't be tied?
A rainbow.

4. Where can you always find gold on St. Patty's Day?
In the dictionary.

Article continues below advertisement
st patricks day jokes
Source: istock

5. Who was St. Patrick's favorite superhero?
Green Lantern.

6. Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover?
You don't want to press your luck.

Article continues below advertisement

7. How did the Irish Jig get started?
Too much water to drink and not enough restrooms.

8. What do they call the Irish Jig at McDonald's?
A Shamrock Shake

st patricks day jokes
Source: istock
Article continues below advertisement

9. What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day?
St. O'Claus!

10. What's long and green and has a low IQ?
A St. Patrick's Day parade.

Leprechaun jokes

11. What kinds of spells do leprechaun witches cast?
Lucky Charms!

12. Why are so many leprechauns gardeners?
Because they have green thumbs.

Article continues below advertisement
st patricks day jokes
Source: istock

13. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
Because they're always a little short.

14. What do leprechauns love to barbecue?
Short ribs.

Article continues below advertisement

15. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
Because they're very short-tempered.

16. What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?
A leper con.

st patricks day jokes
Source: istock
Article continues below advertisement

Irish jokes

17. Irish puns are the most O'ffensive.

18. When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?
When it's a French fry.

19. Why is Ireland the fastest growing country in Europe?
Because it's always Dublin.

20. "I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day."
"Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly!"

Article continues below advertisement
st patricks day jokes
Source: istock

21. Are people jealous of the Irish?
Sure, they're green with envy.

22. What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk at the party.

Article continues below advertisement

23. How does every Irish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.

24. Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?
He couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

st patricks day jokes
Source: istock

25. What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'furniture.

26. Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They're really into green living.

27. Knock Knock
Who's there?
Irish!
Irish who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!


Have fun today and drink responsibly!

Advertisement
More from Distractify

More From Distractify

  • CONNECT with Distractify
  • Link to Facebook
  • Link to Twitter
  • Link to Instagram
  • Link to Email Subscribe
Distractify Logo
Do Not Sell My Personal Information

© Copyright 2021 Distractify. Distractify is a registered trademark. All Rights Reserved. People may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.