On a very serious note, poking holes in a condom without telling someone is very serious. In fact, when men do it to women, the practice is referred to as "stealthing." On a less serious note, we can hardly blame a child for engaging in the same activity, when the concept of right or wrong has yet to land in their underdeveloped brain.
For a quarter of a century, Keely, who goes by @mama_ _kee on TikTok, has kept a truly unbelievable secret from her entire family. When she was a kid Keely poked holes in her parents' condoms, and in a TikTok she shouted out her baby sister Sam on her birthday. You get where this is going. It's a hole thing!
You've heard of poking holes in a theory? Well...
In what can only be described as a hilariously adorable TikTok, Keely unburdened her soul of a secret she's been keeping for 25 years. First of all, to admit this on her little sister Sam's birthday is perfection. Secondly, she will never be able to give her parents a better gift.
"If you're a little kid please don't even watch the rest of this video," says Keely through giggling fits. "This is so embarrassing. Mom, I'm so sorry."
Keely switches to saying she's not sorry because what she did got her a baby sister. When Keely was a little girl, she and her best friend went into her parents' bedroom where they saw a bunch of "shiny packets" on their nightstand. Her friend explained to Keely what they were.
"I don't know how she knew," says Keely. (You always have that one friend who seemed to know a lot about sex. That must have been this friend for Keely.)
There was also a sewing needled next to the condoms. After her friend explained what the shiny packets were and what they were used for, she and Keely proceeded to poke holes in all of them using the sewing needle. (Remind me to do all of my future sewing from the kitchen where the only thing someone can poke holes in is fruit I forgot to eat.)
Spoiler alert: Keely's mom got pregnant!
Six months after the condom caper, Keely's mom told her she was pregnant. "I was so happy," shares Keely, "but years later my mom still says, 'I don't how she happened. We were so careful.'"
It's important to point out that Keely is laughing throughout this entire reveal, which makes the story far more charming than it might normally be. That's too much power for two children to have!
The comments under the TikTok were filled with people who said they would have kept this a secret until their dying day. "The way you could not have water boarded this information out of me," wrote one user. "I almost deleted this video as soon as I posted it," Keely replied.
A lot of folks decided that Sam should thank Keely because without her wild maneuver, she wouldn't be here.
A fun addendum to this story comes in a later TikTok from Keely. In it, she is sharing with the world that she suffers from trypophobia. What does this have to do with poking a ton of little holes into condoms? Well, according to the Cleveland Clinic, trypophobia is "feelings of disgust or fear when you see patterns with lots of holes." Perhaps this manifested itself due to Keely's decades-long secret? What a plot twist!