Here in the United States, we've entered the holiday doldrums that falls between Independence Day and Halloween. Sure, we've got Labor Day, but who ever heard of Labor Day decorations? Nobody. We might as well start getting ready for Halloween, right?
I don't know what this says about me, but while Christmas Creep annoys me endlessly, I'm 100 percent here for Halloween creep, and it seems I'm not alone in this...
I mean, of course someone with the handle @_HorrorGirl_ can't wait for Halloween. That's clearly her whole brand. But I'm with her. Because it's hot as Hades out there, and if we fool ourselves into thinking it's almost Halloween time, that also means we can delude ourselves into believing it's almost sweater weather.
Fall is really all most of us dream about when the temperatures outside are flirting with triple digits. If people truly liked summer as much as they pretend to, they wouldn't blast their ACs at 72 degrees, which is, let's be real, the temperature of a nice early fall day.
Plus — and I will fight all the Christmas stans out there — All Hallow's Eve has the most fun decor of all the holidays. If you're into crafting, it's a pretty big sandbox to play in, whether you like to keep it cute or go with a full American Horror Story-style motif.
Seriously, how cute is all this? How could you not want to spend $400 and go home to deck the halls with ghouls and goblins? Even though actual Halloween is three months away? Screw the heat index, we can will fall to come early with pumpkin power.
Even if you're not big on decorations, you gotta move extra early if you want to secure the best Halloween costume. Wait too long, and it's all just generic witch costumes and that one novelty pop culture one that's so two years ago.
I can already tell Steve and Robin's "Ahoy's" uniforms from Stranger Things Season 3 are going to be a big hit this year, so you want to get yours before everything's picked over. Thankfully, Spirit Halloween emporiums are already opening!
Even Cracker Barrel is hanging out the cobwebs already in their gift shops. Honestly, people chowing down on fare as heavy as hashbrown casserole in mid-July seem like the kind of folks who love fall, so it makes sense Cracker Barrel would haul out the Halloween tchotchkes now.
As much as everybody claims to love summer, if they're really honest with themselves, they're fully over it by July 5. It's too hot, and you've got that long, merciless stretch where there are no holiday weekends until September. We need a reminder that Halloween is nigh just to get through the dog days of August.
Marvel had this whole thing figured out back in the '70s when they introduced ol' Jack-o-Lantern to Spidey in a July issue of Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man.
Did you know July also marks the anniversary of the release of Hocus Pocus, the most iconic Halloween movie of the '90s? Well it does, because Disney also agreed that Halloween season begins in July.
Did I mention the sweets yet? Because that's another reason why Halloween in July is way more acceptable and desirable than Christmas in July. Ol' Stuart here is what we call a hater. Why are you mad when Kroger's just trying to give you discounts on Reese's? What is your issue with joy, man? Just take the two-for-one peanut butter cups with a smile and let us have this.
In addition to all the fun-size versions of your favorite childhood candies, Halloween also means pumpkin spice. And while I personally am not a pumpkin fan, I know for plenty of you out there it's your jam, but it only comes around once a year!
Why wait? Who cares whether it's socially acceptable? Halloween is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. I plan to honor it in my heart and try to keep it all the year.