Some couples have an arrangement where they each get a weekend per year to do whatever they want. They can take a trip or hang out with friends. The important thing is that they get some alone time. And I think that's a great idea! But there are certain situations where you should probably give up that weekend. Like, say, if your wife's sister got into a serious accident and is fighting for her life in the hospital.
This post in Reddit's "Am I the A-hole?" is so mind-boggling and frustrating that it might make your head explode. The poster explains that she and her husband have been married for about 6 years and they have a 3-year-old daughter. Before they got married, she said, they were both independent people. So they agreed that, each year, they would each get one weekend to themselves. They could go away, stay in a hotel, whatever, while the other stays home and takes care of their daughter and the house. This is a good idea! Everyone needs a little break now and then.
This past weekend, it was her husband's turn, and he chose to go on a fishing trip with his buddies about 30 minutes away. This was totally cool with her. But then, on Saturday morning, her sister was in a serious car accident. "She's on life support, it's touch and go, and I'm devastated," she writes.
She called her husband to let him know what happened and told him to come home ASAP... And the a-hole (yeah, I'm calling it) refused! "He said it's his weekend, and he'll come by the hospital Monday," she writes. "He wasn't totally heartless, he listened to me cry and scream and reassured me she'd be ok … but he was adamant that he's enjoying the remainder of his weekend and will join me [Monday]."
Her family has obviously noticed that he's not there, but she's too embarrassed to tell them why. And I understand! Sure, this may have been his weekend, but sometimes things change, and your wife and your sister-in-law's well-being are way more important than a fishing trip with friends. The fact that he didn't immediately understand this makes me question this guy's whole personality. But his wife insists that "he's never been this selfish before."
I feel like guys tend to think in absolutes. This was his weekend, so no matter what, he was going to take it. But what would his response have been if it was his wife or his daughter who'd been in the hospital? "Sorry, I have 12 hours left before I have to think about them again." This guy is heartless.
And his wife knew exactly how she felt. She told him, "if he didn't come home now, don't bother coming home at all," and she was totally justified in doing that. At first she felt like she may have been too harsh. But in several updates, she clarifies that this one weekend a year is on top of lots of weekend nights out and hangs with friends. He sees these guys all the time; it's not as if they traveled from across the world just for this weekend (though, in my opinion, it wouldn't change anything if they had).
Everyone in the comments was definitively on her side. One commenter put it bluntly enough that even her husband should be able to understand how awful he's being: "I think something as serious as a family member going on life support is fair grounds to reschedule a fishing trip." Uh, yeah.
Many people brought up the fact that there will be other weekends. If this one is "ruined" because he had to go be with his family, chances are he could reschedule and pick another weekend somewhere down the line. It's not as if this is his only chance ever to have a weekend alone.
The only reason I could possibly understand this guy having the reaction he did is if his wife somehow didn't make it clear how bad the accident was. Is there a chance that something got lost in communication and he believed it was just a minor thing? Although, even if that was the case, he should have been able to tell how upset his wife was and left anyway.
I'm so curious about what happened right after he hung up with his wife. Did he tell his friends what was going on? Did he just pretend like nothing happened and go back to drinking beer and cracking jokes? As one commenter wrote, "I'm genuinely wondering how he could even ENJOY a trip while he knows his wife is going through a crisis at home. Does the man have zero empathy? Good lord..."
If we're getting the whole story, this man seems like a straight-up monster. Like, Batman villain level evil. It really seems like this guy destroyed his entire relationship and family with one phone call. If this behavior was really out of the blue, like his wife seems to suggest, either there were red flags she wasn't seeing before or he's actively trying to destroy his life. I don't know what the other options are.