featured mom frumpy
Source: Focus Features / Reddit

Husband Tells His Wife 'Not to Dress Like a Mom' and Instantly Regrets It


Sep. 10 2020, Updated 8:29 a.m. ET

I don't know about you, but I can count on my fingers and toes the number of times I've put on a real outfit in the last seven months. We're in a pandemic. We should be barely leaving our home, only doing so for essential activities. 

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Usually, I'm in pajamas. T-shirts, sweatpants, shorts. And I don't even have a child to take care of. You know who does, though? The poor woman who's the subject of this "Am I the A-hole?" post. Her husband doesn't understand why she can't dress up once in a while after giving birth seven months ago and living through a historic pandemic. I know.

mom frumpy
Source: CBC Television
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OP explains that his wife gave birth in February. That's right, mere days before the world completely changed forever. He's complaining that the way she dresses now that she's the mom of an infant and living through a deadly pandemic has shifted.

"At first I thought she was just trying to be comfortably post-birth, but now that almost seven months have passed it seems like this change is permanent," he laments. He claims he still thinks she's "sexy," but is still upset that she doesn't "dress sexy anymore."

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He writes, "Most of her outfits are looser. Think lots of sweatshirts, sweatpants, and tent dresses." I wonder why! Maybe her body isn't exactly the same as it was before she pushed a human being out of it, and this is what she feels comfortable in now. Maybe the fact that she is staying home all the time has made her realize that dressing up is completely unnecessary.

OP claims that he doesn't want his wife to always "dress sexy" for him. "However," he writes, "it would be nice at least a few times a week if she tried to dress up more and like she did before we had our daughter." 

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mom frumpy
Source: Netflix

I wonder if OP ever dresses up for his wife! In what world are her clothing choices for him? I'll give you a hint: not this one! OP said he brought up this idea of dressing nicer and "not like a mom" to his wife, and she got "extremely offended." As she should.

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Now she thinks he's not attracted to her anymore (wonder why!). He writes, "She also said that how she dresses is none of my business and if I can't be supportive not to say anything at all." Good for her.

He thinks "this type of communication" is important. What type of communication? Insulting your wife? I don't think so, buddy. Luckily, commenters put him in his place very quickly.

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"YTA. You do realize she had a baby recently and it can take a while before she feels herself again?" one person wrote. "It took me a year after both of my kids were born. My priority was not on me." To this, OP responded that he "just thought that by seven months things would be different."

mom frumpy
Source: Netflix
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"YTA," another person wrote. "This isn't an issue but you sure as s--t are determined to make it one. Stop being dramatic and let your wife be comfortable in her own damn home." In a few words, "Grow up." If she is happy and healthy and comfortable, that should be all that matters.

If your wife wants to wear something that you like in order to please you, great. But it should never ever be an expectation in a relationship, especially in the middle of a pandemic mere months after bringing a child into the world. Case closed.

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