What Does It Mean to Get "Lavaliered" Into a Fraternity? Woman Gives Details

After a woman was lavaliered into her boyfriend's fraternity, social media users who aren't knowledgeable about Greek culture were intrigued.

Distractify Staff - Author

Oct. 5 2023, Published 1:24 p.m. ET

The Gist:

  • When someone seeks to join a fraternity or sorority, the initiation process is usually private.
  • Some fraternities have an initiation process that includes the person's significant other.
  • Being "lavaliered" means that the fraternity member's significant other is seen as an honorary member.
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It’s understood throughout college culture that fraternities and sororities have many aspects of their initiation process that are supposed to be private. If you’ve attended a historically Black college or university (HBCU) or a predominantly white institution (PWI), Greek life is usually alive and well with hopefuls yearning for a spot with an organization.

That said, it has always been believed that joining a fraternity or a sorority is a solo mission. Sure, you have brothers or sisters who go through a process with you, but it’s all pretty secretive — meaning divulging information to a loved one or significant other is a no-go. However, some fraternities have a process that includes your significant other. It's time to get acquainted with being lavaliered.

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In a TikTok video, one woman shared some aspects of her experience being lavaliered into her boyfriend’s fraternity, and social media users are intrigued to know exactly what that process means. Here’s the scoop.

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A woman shared her lavaliered experience online and highlighted exactly what it means.

Welcome to the family! In an Oct. 1, 2023, TikTok video, creator Annika (@fitnessbyanni) shared a video where she showed the buildup of being lavaliered into her boyfriend’s fraternity.

“Take your guess as to whether or not I’m a brother now,” the video caption reads.

As the video starts, Annika is seen wearing a white dress and makeup as a text overlay reads, “Am I getting lavaliered or did he just tell me to put on a dress and heels?”

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The video showed Annika questioning things once she saw her boyfriend in a suit, all of his frat brothers who are his roommates being gone, and the boyfriend driving her to the frat house.

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In a follow-up video, Annika and her boyfriend are seen exiting his frat house as people gather around outside. In another video, she shared photos of her and her boyfriend posing outside of the Indiana Gamma chapter of Phi Delta house after being lavaliered.

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After tons of questions about the process, Annika finally shared a video explaining what it means to be lavaliered. According to her, being lavaliered into a fraternity entails a long-term girlfriend (with whom the brother sees marriage in the future) of one of the senior brothers in the frat being recognized as an honorary brother of the frat.

Annika explained that the process is different based on the school and the fraternity. However, her boyfriend decided that he wanted to lavalier her into the fraternity and had a meeting with his brothers about it. All the brothers had to give their consent to her becoming a part of the organization.

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TikTok users are happy for Annika and explain that being lavaliered is basically a promise to be married.

Receiving the honor of being lavaliered is a big deal since it shows that your boyfriend sees you as a longtime partner. Additionally, a boyfriend belonging to a fraternity that has the lavaliered process is essentially sharing his brotherhood with his partner with the promise of a bond that lasts forever.

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So, other ladies who have been lavaliered congratulated Annika on receiving the honor while also sharing their own experiences.

“I was lavaliered and pinned in college. My 30th wedding anniversary is next month,” one person shared.

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“I'm not with the guy who lavaliered me but some of his bros are still some of my best friends... my lavalier was the first ritual in a new house 😂,” another person said.

Interestingly, some people revealed that the process is rare at some schools, due to potential candidates having to get approval from every last brother.

That said, we’re sure being lavaliered is an experience Annika won’t forget.

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