Shelter-at-home orders have made it much harder for those who speak to a therapist to attend sessions. Especially in households with other people, finding that private spot or that hour to yourself can nearly impossible.
Still, therapy is and should be a completely private endeavor. One mom doesn't seem to get that. A man took to Reddit's "Am I the A-hole?" recently to share that he discovered his wife was spying on their kids' therapy sessions. He, rightly, got incredibly angry with her and made her confess to them. It didn't end well.
OP explains that he has two kids, a 20-year-old son and a 19-year-old daughter. They've been going to therapy since the beginning of the quarantine period because they're having a tough time with the state of the world, which is understandable.
They attend therapy via Zoom, and gradually, OP realized that his wife was watching their sessions. "She came back exactly 3 hours later after both of them finished looking sad. Today, the same thing happened and when I went to wake her up for dinner today, I found her watching a recording of my daughter's session," OP wrote.
He "lost it." He understands that his kids' therapy sessions are supposed to be completely private. They had promised their kids (who are really grown adults) that they would respect their privacy.
So, OP made his wife confess to their kids what she had been doing. "They were heartbroken and they hate her," OP writes. Of course, his wife is claiming that it's his fault, but he's convinced that "she dug her own grave."
Now, both of his kids feel extremely betrayed and don't want anything to do with their mother. I have a feeling their mom's behavior is just one snippet of the material they bring to their therapy sessions. Although, they probably now feel like they can't talk about this in therapy because she'll secretly watch it!
Commenters took OP's side without hesitation. "Therapy is confidential for a reason," one person wrote. "As you said, if she doesn't want her kids to hate her, she shouldn't have spied on them in the first place."
"This was such a massive violation of trust that I have to wonder what else she's done," someone else wrote. "This is sick behavior and your wife needs her own therapist. This is not your fault. It sounds like you handled it really well."
According to OP, she watched the session through a hidden camera in the room. If her kids didn't have trust issues with their mom (which I suspect they did), they definitely do now.
My mom promised me when I was very little that she would never read my diary. If she had violated that trust, I think on some level, I wouldn't be able to trust her ever again. I once had a babysitter go through my journal, and even though that's not exactly the same thing as a parent spying on a Zoom therapy session, it felt extremely violating.
I can only imagine what it would feel like to know that my mom violated my trust that way. I imagine it will be a long road for her to work to gain their trust back. Perhaps some family counseling is in order.