I bet you knew that McDonald's was good, but you probably didn't know just how good it is. McDonald's is so greasy and delicious that one in 10 people believe that their partner getting Mickey D's without them is just as bad as cheating. It's true!
And honestly, harsh, but fair. I don't want my partner chowing down on a Bic Mac and fries without me. He might decide he wants to divorce me and marry the burger. An the worst part is, I wouldn't blame him.
According to Mirror, a OnePoll survey of 1,000 (extremely desperate) fast-food fans love the greasy stuff so much that one in 20 of them would actually break up with their partners if they found out they went without them. They literally consider it on par with cheating.
Now, times are desperate. These extreme feelings about McDonald's might be an effect of the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown; one in five people said "their first taste of a Big Mac after the lockdown was better than a pay-rise."
That's...really saying something. Some other shocking numbers: 16 percent of McDonald's fans rated the feeling of eating their first Big Mac in months on par with the birth of their first child. Sorry, Little Timmy. Mommy loves you, but not as much as she loves two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.
Additionally, 13 percent of people considered that juicy burger bite better than their wedding day. Look, wedding days are great, but they're also full of a ton of stress and family drama and expensive things. A Big Mac is the opposite of all of that. I kind of see where these people are coming from.
But it doesn't end there: 16 percent of people who've returned to McDonald's since restrictions have lifted consider it better than getting a promotion at work. Nearly a fifth of people felt happier finally eating McDonald's than if their favorite "football team" (soccer for us Americans) were to win the league.
Nearly half of customers polled said they would rather give up booze than McDonald's, which I don't believe for a second. Another group said one in 10 would give up their phone for the burger joint, which also seems suspect. If you didn't have a phone, how would you brag to all your friends that you went to McDonald's?
People most severely missed Sausage and Egg McMuffins in the mornings, followed by family trips to the drive-thru. I don't know about you but every time my parents decided we could have McDonald's growing up, it was like a holiday! An extremely rare holiday.
Perhaps this reaction seems outsized, but while McDonald's only closed about 50 restaurants in the U.S. due to the coronavirus pandemic, the company had to shut down more than 1,270 UK and Ireland restaurants when the virus hit.
Our poor friends across the pond have been going without Big Macs and French fries for months at this point. I'm sure you can understand where they're coming from.
Next time your partner goes out "for a drive" and comes back home with a face full of grease and a dazed look in their eye, no one will blame you if you interrogate them about where they've been and what they've been doing. They better not have been at McDonald's without you.