Meet TikTok creator Abby Eckel (@itsme_abbye), who specializes in content about marriage and motherhood. She has over 550K followers and frequently shares candid videos about parenting, feminism, and mental health on the platform. In a recent video, she presented her TikTok followers with a hypothetical situation, asking fellow wives what would occur if they stopped handling all the cooking, cleaning, childcare, and other household tasks.
According to Abby, it's likely that tasks wouldn't get done, as husbands typically don't take the lead on responsibilities of that nature.
Her video deeply resonated with her female followers. Men, on the other hand, did not agree with what she was saying.
In fact, one man with the handle @duke1013_ commented on the video asking, “What if we stop working, supporting, and paying for everything?" Other men echoed his question and claimed as husbands that they are constantly doing things for their wives and family like changing the oil in their cars, mowing the grass, and cleaning the gutters out.
This comment set Abby off and she decided to respond to it in a separate video.
A mom responds to a male commenter who doesn't believe women work.
"Why do men still believe that women don’t work?" Abby asked in a video addressing user @duke1013_'s comment.
"Listen and listen close because I'm tired of saying this: 75 percent of women between 25 and 55 work," Abby said into the camera, adding "working is no longer exclusive to men. It is not 1950."
She explains that women not only are working, but they are also handling the brunt of domestic labor. And that domestic labor "happens on a daily basis, if not a multi-daily basis." However, the tasks men were referring to like shoveling the snow were occasional tasks and not consistent. Abby referred to them as "sporadic tasks."
"You are trying to compare apples to oranges and then you are trying to say that women don't actually work," she exclaimed. " [You think] that if you stop paying the bills and mortgage then women would just what? You think that women would just be homeless?"
Abby ends her video with this: "Please get your heads out of each other's a---- and out of your silly bubbles and realize most women work too and we're not asking for the sun and the moon. We are literally asking you to do your fair share of domestic labor around the house."
The comments on Abby's video completely aligned with what she was saying. "No man has ever paid my bills. Best I ever got is 50-50 percent and I still had to do 100 percent of cleaning and maintenance of the home and my vehicle," wrote one woman.
"My ex used to say the sporadic things like home repairs were harder so it weighed out for my daily work," wrote another.
A third commenter said: "My husband said I 'liked the money' from his stressful job … I reminded him quickly that I have my own money and don’t really see his."
And a fourth wrote: "I work full time in healthcare and then come home to do all the cooking, cleaning and childcare. I'm married but feel so alone."
The debate about whether wives or husbands do more could go on forever. However, as Abby suggested, let's ensure we get the facts straight. Most women work, earn their own money, and rely on themselves for financial support.