15 People Share What Men Think Women Want (Spoiler: They're Wrong)

Robin Zlotnick - Author

Jul. 29 2019, Updated 3:59 p.m. ET

featured what women want
Source: Paramount Pictures / Twitter

Men either take pride in thinking they know what women want or in their ignorance about what women want. How many comedians have you heard be like, "Women! What are they? What do they want?! I don't know, and I will make no effort to know!" It's not cute. Men have all these notions about what women want that it seems like they've conjured out of thin air because they are in no way based in reality. Luckily, people on Twitter have drawn attention to the very silly ideas men have about women with the hashtag #MenThinkWomenWant

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To be clear, we will definitely take that loyalty and compassion, too. But those should be givens, and if we're being honest with ourselves, women truly desire larger pockets more than they desire any man. We got so screwed over with pockets, and it's high time that changes. With larger pockets, we wouldn't have to carry purses. With larger pockets, we could carry our flamethrowers on our person all day every day without issue. 


That whole "damsel in distress" trope is so old. Women don't want to be rescued. We don't need to be rescued. In fact, any man who tries to rescue us is going to be kicked to the curb. Any man who thinks there's a woman out there who can't fend for herself is wildly mistaken. Indeed, it's actually the opposite. It's often men who need rescuing. How many men do you know who can cook themselves a healthy meal from scratch? I rest my case.

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This, of course, is not a blanket truth. When we women have something specific in mind, we will absolutely make the decision about where we eat. But once in a while, once in a blue moon, it would be nice if men would make a decision. Just once I'd like for the dude to be like, "This is the plan. It's going to be great. Trust me." Most dudes I know are so reluctant to take charge and actually come up with a plan. It's infuriating!

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There is a reason that "mansplaining" is a well-known term. It's because men can't help themselves. They love hearing the sound of their own voice so much that they will explain anything, even things that everyone else in the vicinity already knows. If I had to guess the top three topics that men mansplain about, I would probably say: Star Wars, Quentin Tarantino, and women's bodies. Does that seem accurate to you?

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Hey, I love gifts. It's nice to get flowers and jewelry and all that stuff. But that stuff means nothing if it's not paired with quality time. Objects don't make up for bad behavior. Know that, dudes. You can say sorry with a necklace, but if it's not accompanied by an actual apology, it means nothing. More than anything, we just want to have someone to spend time with and share our lives with in a meaningful way.

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A sense of humor is always toward the top of the list for people in relationships. As it should be! But I swear to goodness, I could never be in a relationship with Chandler Bing. He is way too much. I mean, could he be any more annoying? I think there has to be some middle ground between Richard and Chandler. Richard was great! And his mustache was even greater! There's got to be someone who's like a mashup of both of them. Chandard...or Richler. 

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I don't know any women who are like, "I need a man so he can look after me and make sure I'm OK 24-7." We are quite well-equipped to survive on our own, thank you very much! In fact, I think it's time that men stop looking after us in all areas of life... from our homes... to the White House. You know what I'm getting at. Men have looked after this country since it began. And look where that got us. It's time for men to take a step back.

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what women want
Source: Twitter

In pop culture, women are always depicted as falling for "bad boys," while the nice, normal guys sulk in a corner. But in reality, no woman wants to have to bail her boyfriend out of trouble. Sure, motorcycles and leather jackets might be cool, but so is obeying traffic laws and respecting your elders. Bad boys get way too hyped up when in real life, they never end up getting the girl. Unless they look like the guy in the above pic, of course. Whew, what a hottie!

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This is very true. How some men seem to think that women like it when they're arrogant a-holes, I have no idea. Just be a genuine dude who is sure of himself without being dismissive or rude to others. There is a difference between being confident and sure of yourself and being cocky. Toxic masculinity is probably responsible for facilitating this idea that in order for men to be attractive, they have to be cocky. It's gross!

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Bonus points if he has a butt like Mr. Clean's. (Sorry not sorry, he is one attractive cartoon man.) But this is so true. We love men of all shapes and sizes as long as they do the dishes and take the garbage out once in a while. If they vacuum the living room or wash and fold your linens even once, you should probably just marry them on the spot. Skip the engagement and lock that housekeeping gem of a man down now. 

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This is one of the most infuriating things that men do on the internet on such a regular basis. If you have ever created a profile on an online dating site or app, you have no doubt gotten more than a handful of messages from braindead dudes being like, "hey," "hi," "hi," "hey," and "sup." What are you supposed to say to that? That's not how you have a conversation. If you were standing at a bar and a guy came up to you, said, "Hi," and then just stood there, you would be extremely creeped out and walk away immediately.

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Men: listen up. Your genitals are not cute. Not even if you put a tiny mustache on them. No woman wants a picture of your junk. It's actually crazy to me that it became a trend for dudes to send unsolicited pictures of their genitals to women who they want to get with. It's like a dog who wants to be adopted sending a picture of their butthole to prospective owners instead of a picture of their adorable face. Why would they do it? Why?!

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If your man only gives you massages and back rubs as a way to initiate sex, get yourself a new man! Every woman deserves a guy who knows that, sometimes, women just need a massage. When your partner is like, "Hey can you help me get this kink out of my back?" she's definitely not actually saying, "Sex time, baby!" Women just need you to make it about them for, like, one hot second rather than doing something nice for them just so you can get some. You feel me? 

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This guy knows what's up. If my partner was Chris Hemsworth but he didn't ever volunteer to do the food shopping, he could take all six of his abs and march right out that door back to Asgard (obviously, in this fantasy, I am married to the Thor version of Chris Hemsworth. Keep up, people!). He could save me from Thanos' grasp, but if he doesn't pay attention and replenish the toilet paper when we're running low, we're over!

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This sentiment is partly OK and partly quite problematic. The way he wrote it seems like he's just bad at communicating with women and curls up in a ball instead of actually trying to have conversations with them, which is not OK. What is OK is truly listening to the woman in your life, listening to what she needs and what she wants, and then also inferring things that she doesn't expressly say out loud. 

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