After a breakup, most people never see or speak with their ex's family again. However, every relationship is unique, so there's a chance you may still keep in touch. Take it from this woman in the wildly popular "AITA" subreddit, who's still very close with her son's ex-girlfriend (even though he moved on and married someone else).
The original poster, who goes by the handle u/Tight-Negotiation432, revealed that she invites her son's ex-girlfriend to family gatherings, despite how uncomfortable it makes his wife feel. Wait, what? Read on for the full story.
Plus, stick around to hear whose side the internet is on!
This mom still invites her son's ex-girlfriend to family gatherings.
The OP said her son and Sabrina, the ex in question, dated for quite a long time; as a result, she developed a strong bond with the young girl. She added that Sabrina "is, in my eyes, our daughter. Her family are awful people, and she sees us as her parental figures. She even is planning to have my husband walk her down the [aisle] when she gets married."
When the pair broke up, the OP said she "didn't drop" Sabrina because, at this point, she was one of her kids. The OP's son wasn't happy but eventually accepted it and moved on. He's now older and married to Bethany, a woman that the OP doesn't seem to like very much. She said Bethany is "a nice person," but they "never clicked."
"We don't have much in common, and they live two hours away, so it's hard to plan stuff to get to know her more. I'm sure it will grow in time," the OP said before delving into a tense conversation between her and Bethany.
One day, the family hosted a picnic — Sabrina was there (as normal), and everything was going well. However, drama ensued by the end of the night. Bethany approached the OP and told her how uncomfortable it is to see her husband's ex-girlfriend at family gatherings. Bethany asked the OP to stop inviting Sabrina, but she refused.
"I told her no," the OP explained. "Sabrina is part of the family and has been part of the family longer than she has. If [there] is an actual valid reason like her [being] rude, then I would consider it, but she has done nothing. She left, and my son has called me an a------ for picking her over my now real family."
Redditors agree that the OP is a massive AH.
As expected, many fellow Redditors agreed that the OP is the wrongdoer.
One person took to the comment section and wrote, "YTA. You've spent the past 5+ years making sure that your son knows you value this relationship with his ex more than his comfort, and now you're making his wife know it too. I'm glad she sees you as parental figures since you're going to destroy your actual relationship with your kid over this."
"She's not your daughter she's your son's ex, and it's weird as hell to keep inviting her to family events when your son has moved on and married," a second Redditor said. "It was extra rude to be so dismissive and nasty to Bethany when she was trying to open up about how uncomfortable she is."
"Son was against this from the beginning," a third added. "She now has an actual daughter-in-law, who OP admits she doesn't have as much of a relationship with. And [the OP] can deny that she wishes her son had married Sabrina all she wants, but her golden treatment of Sabrina, mixed with her cold treatment of Bethany paints a different picture."
Another Reddit user commented, "This is a great way to make your son slowly start cutting you out of his life. You are disrespecting his marriage. Lovely that you think she is 'nice,' but I think you wouldn't let yourself 'click' with Bethany because you're stuck on some pipedream about your son's ex being family."
In a recent update, the OP provided further details: "She may not be my kid by blood, but ... she is my daughter and has been for about 10 years. Also, Sabrina is engaged, so no, she doesn't want to get back with my son, and I don't want them to either. Yes, I have invited Bethany to do stuff with me, it's always been a no."
"I won't disown Sabrina by disinviting her to family events," the OP said. "I will be saying I don't see her as family if I disinvite her to family events she has gone to for about 10 years. This is asking me to [choose] between two children, I will not disown one."
What do you think? Is the OP wrong for still inviting her son's ex-girlfriend to family gatherings? Let us know!