I'm an only child who comes from a long line of only children. I won't pretend that a great deal of my childhood involved being spoiled but in my meager defense, certain members of my family were attempting to make up for the lack of emotional availability from other members of my family. Do I recommend this tactic? Yes, because I always had a brand new Jansport backpack at the start of every school year. I'm insufferable!
I was also born on my mother's birthday, which is difficult for two only children as sharing is not generally in our DNA. Every year on our birthdays, my grandmother bought gifts for both me and my mom. And every year, I counted our gifts to make sure everything was just right, a la Goldilocks and the Three Bears. This is why I totally understand one TikToker's quest to get the right amount of presents from her family by way of a Christmas gift slide show presentation. She's only trying to help!
We applaud a full on slide show presentation about Christmas gifts.
Jenna Lu, who goes by @itsjennalu on TikTok, is not messing around when it comes to her Christmas gifts. In a hilarious TikTok, Jenna decided to help her family make sure she has the best holiday ever.
This was born from the fact that last Christmas, her family "totally f----- up," she said in a video while standing in front of a television where she was casting a slideshow from her laptop. The first slide simply reads "Jenna's Xmas List" next to some festive gingerbread people and an adorable gingerbread house.
To incentiivize everyone, Jenna began with a warning. "Here are some thing that you guys should keep in mind when deciding what kind of gifts you guys can provide for me this year," says Jenna. First and foremost, Jenna is the only one who knows how to reset the WiFi. "And yeah, that's a threat," says Jenna.
"Secondly if you don't get me what I want, I will get a sugar daddy." I'm going to give Jenna the benefit of the doubt by assuming she's playing on her parents outdated fears in relation to sex work, and is not shaming the act of having a sugar daddy. In fact since the holiday season is approaching, that sugar daddy can be a Candy Cane daddy.
Jenna also threatens to sell pictures of her feet online which is a fairly tame endeavor. Fun fact, Ashley Tisdale's sister is named Jennifer. My name is Jennifer Tisdale. The other Jennifer Tisdale has a WikiFeet page but the number one picture on her page is of my foot, via my Instagram. That's right, my piggies are getting Ashley Tisdale's sister WikiFeet clout.
Next Jenna moves onto the three-tier system she created which features different gifting levels. It's kind of like a pyramid present scheme. If she receives anywhere between four and seven gifts, that puts the gift givers in the level one category and could cause Jenna to enter therapy. To be clear, therapy is a good thing and is typically not an insult or a bargaining chip.
"Mom, can you please stop whispering to dad," says Jenna as she seamlessly shifts into level two which is eight to fifteen gifts. It's titled the "Getting Warmer Package," and is akin to Jenna getting a text on her birthday and nothing else.
I appreciate level three for its wordplay. If Jenna gets more than 25 gifts, everyone will be "sleighing it." Apparently she only got 23 gifts in 2022, so why not aim impossibly higher. At the risk of sounding like a total jerk, I have gotten around this amount of presents for Christmas. I recall being shocked to discover most of my friends only received one or two presents each. I'm the worst and so is Jenna!
Obviously a Christmas gift list would be nothing without an actual list. Some of Jenna's suggestions include but are not limited to Roller Rabbit Monkey Polo Pajamas, Apple Airpods Max, and Rhode Glazing Milk. In the event anyone is worried her parents might not remember any of these ideas, Jenna did email her parents with a full list.
On the one hand I don't want to defend this kind of behavior but on the other, I see so much of myself in Jenna. Yes she's being funny, but it's the kind of joke that is only a joke if the other people don't take it seriously. Here's hoping we get a followup TikTok from Christmas day, featuring Jenna opening over 25 presents.