I love crying. It's cathartic and necessary and rejuvenating. That being said, for much of my life, I wouldn't have considered myself a "crier." (That's changing now that I'm getting older.) Throughout my life, there have only been a few things that automatically make me burst into tears. One of them is getting injured. If I hurt a part of my body, I don't know why, but tears automatically spring forth from my eyes. I can't help it. When I see athletes and other people get hurt and not cry, it feels like they have some sort of secret knowledge I don't. For me, injuries always equal tears.
Eric Alper recently asked the notorious non-criers of the internet to share those specific things that make them lose it. As a former non-crier, I can report that if you are a crier, the items in this thread might make your eyes leak at just the thought of them.
Yes, obviously, even if you are not a crier, I would still expect you to cry when you lose a let. They are actual members of your family and you can't imagine your life without them! To turn into a blubbering mess when your pet dies is totally expected.
Let me tell you this. I wasn't a crier growing up partly because I refused to watch any movie where the dog is abused and / or dies. I simply couldn't handle those stories at all. Abused animal stories are a one-way ticket to Cry Town for a lot of us.
"Fathers and Sons"
Well, obviously, "Fathers and Sons" by Cat Stevens makes you cry. It makes everyone cry. It's the saddest song in the world. If you don't cry while listening to 'Fathers and Sons," I question whether you have a heart at all.
'Field of Dreams'
I feel like this is a big one for a lot of dads and dudes out there. Field of Dreams is about fathers and sons, after all. Can you imagine what would happen if you watched Field of Dreams and then listened to Cat Stevens' "Fathers and Sons"? Your whole head might just melt into a puddle.
Yes! I don't know how a movie starring John Candy about an Olympic bobsled team was the most emotionally harrowing film in the world, but that scene in Cool Runnings makes everyone I know choke up. 1993, man. What a crazy time.
Funny story about Up: I went to see it in college with some other members of my comedy troupe. We thought it would be fun. Instead, five minutes in, I look over and every single funny ha-ha sketch comedian I know is a blubbering mess.
Other people crying
YES! This is such a massive one. This used to not be a thing for me, but now, if other people cry, I start producing tears almost instantly. I like to think it's because of my extreme empathy, but who knows?
Lana Del Rey
Did... Did Lana Del Rey do something to this person? Did she call him names? Bully him on the school yard when they were kids? Or is it her haunting voice that makes him cry? Either way, there's more to this story, and I have to know.
"Amazing Grace" on bagpipes
I totally get this one. I don't know what it is about this particular song when played on the bagpipes, but it's definitely emotional. As long as I'm not caught up thinking about how strange an instrument the bagpipes are, I bet this would make me cry too.
Children receiving puppies and kittens
I don't know that these videos make me cry, but they make me absolutely beam. I don't know what it's like to get a dog after begging my parents for one... because we just always had at least one dog growing up, from the time I was about 4 years old. But I know what it's like to feel like you would do anything for a furry creature you just met.
Ah yes, My Girl, another movie that I absolutely flat-out refused to watch because I knew how sad it was. I think I must have seen it once because I knew its tragic ending, but I must have blocked out that viewing experience.
Sure, maybe this answer is snarky, but honestly, I kind of love when an onion makes me cry. It's like a little spa treatment for my tear ducts.
If you don't cry at videos of families being reunited after one members has been deployed, there's something wrong with you. I'm not always a fan of the surprise pop-out ones because I think sometimes those can be exploitative, but a heartfelt hug-filled reunion will get me every time.
Christian the lion
Oh my god. I forgot about this video. It's incredible, and once you realize the lion is not jumping on them to maul them to death, it quickly becomes the most adorable cry-fest. Don't believe me?
Watch it for yourself:
I truly felt ashamed to be crying while Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" played in the background, but I couldn't help it! This video is just too much!!!! Excuse me while I go hug my dog for a while because that's what this video makes me want to do.
More from Distractify:
More From Distractify
Humor Humor Humor Humor