Look, we all want Adam Driver to step on our necks / run us over with a dump truck / etc., etc. He's a human refrigerator except that he'd probably keep you warm instead of cold, unless you wanted to be cold, and then he'd figure out a way to do that.
I get it. Adam Driver. I get it. But liking Adam Driver and having dreams about Adam Driver and having shirtless Kylo Ren as your phone background is one thing. Talking about him in every single conversation you have with your boyfriend is another. That's the central problem of this latest "Am I the A-hole?" post.
OP writes that his girlfriend has recently become extremely obsessed with the Star Wars actor. First, he notes a strange view of hers: She doesn't like him to watch movies with nude scenes or with actresses she thinks he finds attractive.
So that's bizarre, red-flaggy behavior on her part, but he's never really had a problem with it. "I'm not a massive movie watcher and I'd rather her be happy than watch films she doesn't like," he writes.
But then, about a month ago, she told him she watched all the Star Wars movies, which he was surprised by because she'd always made fun of him for liking them. As they talked, though, it became clear that she had a thing for Adam Driver. (Understandable.)
After that, she watched "pretty much every movie Adam Driver has starred in," he writes. (Not going to lie, also understandable.) And OP didn't mind it! "I was pretty happy to see her liking something we had in common," he writes. Sounds like a good guy!
But then it got weird. She started talking about Adam Driver and / or Kylo Ren in every single conversation they'd have. "And I mean EVERY conversation," OP writes. "If we talked about cars she would bring up that she wanted a Kylo Ren air freshener. If we talked about clothes she'd bring up how I wear all black a lot just like Kylo Ren."
He figured she just had a celebrity crush, but he admits that it's gotten to be annoying to constantly talk about Adam Driver. (Understandable.) He says it got to the point where they wouldn't talk about anything else. "Like, I couldn't bring up something in my own life with it somehow turning to him," he writes.
She recently suggested changing their Halloween costumes and going as a gender-reversed Kylo and Rey. He expressed that he didn't want to do that, but she maintained that he should so she could dress up as Kylo Ren.
On top of everything else, she got a life-size cardboard cut-out of Adam Driver. "He sits in her room wearing a hat," OP writes. OP hasn't stayed at her house recently because of the pandemic, but he's not missing it. "There is absolutely no chance I am sleeping with my girlfriend while the man she talks about 24 / 7 stands and watches us like some freaky guardian angel," he writes.
This guy is at his wits' end and can't stand hearing about, looking at, or watching movies starring Adam Driver anymore. And I don't blame him. It really seems like his girlfriend has taken the obsession to an extreme level that's starting to affect their relationship.
Commenters were definitely amused by this situation ("I'm deceased. This is the funniest s--t I've read in weeks"), but some had genuine advice. "NTA but you should have a discussion," one person wrote. "She should absolutely NOT be dictating what you can and can't watch... Especially when she falls asleep looking at Adam Driver."
There are really two issues here. One is that he just wants them to stop talking about Adam Driver so much, which should be addressed with a conversation. The other is that her behavior toward him has definitely been controlling when it comes to the movies she wants him to watch. Both of these problems need to be addressed head on.
"Your girlfriend's obsession is a lot," one person wrote. "You're allowed to not be OK with it... You need to have a serious talk with her and get to the heart of her current obsession, and then tell her how you feel about it too." Communication is almost always the answer, folks! Talk to your significant other about their unhealthy obsession with an absolute tank of a celebrity crush.