If you work in the restaurant industry, chances are you've seen your fair share of disastrous dates. This AskReddit thread is full of them. From douchey guys to overbearing mothers sitting at the next table (yes, really), this list has every horrible date scenario you can imagine, and probably also some you can't.
Starting off with a bang. CaptainWisconsin was a bartender at a high-end steak restaurant when he saw a first date go quickly down the drain. A woman walked in and got a drink at the bar. Shortly after, a man came in carrying a large bag. It was clear this was their first date. They introduced themselves, sat down to dinner, and started a painfully awkward conversation. "Their conversation was lurching...when he reached into the bag and pulled out an album containing...his Pokemon card collection." He described each and every card in detail until she faked an emergency and left.
This story, despite itself, has a happy ending. Voice_of_craisin was a bartender at an Italian restaurant and witnessed a woman on a date start to down rum punches. She got so drunk that she locked herself in the bathroom puked all over herself and the floor. They finally got the door open and found her passed out in her own vomit. The guy ended up taking her home. But here's the kicker: "They've been married for about 15 years and are absurdly happy. She avoids rum punches."
El_pobbster witnessed a date go so poorly. The woman arrived half an hour late and then got really drunk. In the middle of the meal, she "answers her phone, takes the call, and starts talking about her date, in front of her date, saying stuff like, 'Well, he's not usually my type, I don't exactly like him, but I felt like why not?', right in front of him." The poor guy paid his bill and left shortly after.
Some people are just so weird. Foppishyyy witnessed a couple on their first date, and at first, it seemed to be going well. About halfway through the meal, they start holding hands, which is kind of cute. Then the guy kisses the back of her hand, which, as they wrote, it a little "outdated," but still kind of cute. Then he does it again. The woman starts to get uncomfortable. All of a sudden, the server looks over and this dude is full-on making out with his date's hand, "tongue and all." Needless to say, I don't think there was a second date.
Bucket_of_frogs witnessed a first date at a Pan-Asian fusion restaurant that got way too spicy. The woman on the date commented about how she thought her dish would be hotter, so the guy she was with snapped his fingers and demanded that the restaurant cook it again and make it hotter. He caused a massive scene. So they reluctantly take her food away and she sits there in silence while he continues to eat. She was extremely embarrassed, and honestly, so am I! For her! Oy!
If this one doesn't make steam come out of your ears, I don't know what. Alixphoenix saw a guy and a girl meet for the first time at the barbecue restaurant she worked at. She ordered ribs, and her date said, "Do you want to keep that hot figure of yours or look like that chick over there?" and then proceeded to point to a slightly overweight woman across the room. Then, as they were going to pay, he started flirting with the woman in line behind them. His date left before they were even served their food.
Wrathful_Man witnessed a date between a man and a woman that seemed to be going OK until the man dramatically stood up while the woman was talking, cut her off, and yelled, "I'm sorry, Jen. I just wanted to give women one more chance but I can't do it. You're lovely but women just aren't doing it for me." He then stormed out and Jen just sat there looking mortified. This almost seems like something done on a dare or as part of an acting class or something. Why would he be so public and dramatic about it otherwise?
This might be the worst one on the list. Thirdratebread worked at a bubble tea place and saw a guy in his late teens meet up with a girl around the same age. They sat and talked and played a board game while his mother sat at the table next to them and stared them down the entire time. Apparently, the woman sat there and interrupted the date multiple times to critique her son's behavior. Not gonna lie, I kind of love this. But for all the wrong reasons.
SuckFhatThit was a bartender at a place known for their wings. It was a first date, and the guy asked the woman, "What do I have to do for a kiss?" She told him he should eat a spoonful of their hottest sauce. So that's what he did even though the server tried to talk him out of it. After five minutes of crying and drinking milk, the dude kicked off his shoes, stood up, and started running while "poo starts escaping his pant leg and leaves a trail all the way to the bathroom." Incredible. And by incredible, I mean so so dumb.
HappyLittleTrees17 saw a couple at the bar on their first date. About 20 minutes later, the guy runs back into the kitchen, asks, "Is there an exit back here?", doesn't wait for an answer, and just bolts out the back door. Did he dine and dash to leave his date with the bill? Did she say something so heinous and offensive that he had to get out of there immediately? Maybe he ate really spicy hot sauce before he arrived. We will never know.
Flavourtown69 was working at a bar when a 19-year-old guy, "the kind of guy who seemed like he would have had a rough time in high school but has since blossomed," came up to a woman about his age. No idea if it was a planned date or he was just trying to pick her up, but either way, his opening line was a total disaster. He "walks up, puts his elbow on the bar beside her: 'So, whaddya reckon about the Foo Fighters?" Chances are she's not the world's biggest Foo Fighters fan, which is the only scenario in which that line would work.
Chelseafc5505 witnessed this really weird one. A woman showed up to the bar, ordered a drink, and waited for her date. He showed up, they introduced themselves (it was clearly a first date), then took their seats at their table. By that point, she had almost finished her drink, and he didn't have a drink. When she goes to take their drink order, he orders a Jack and coke, and before the woman has a chance to answer, he interrupts and says she'll just be having water. The woman went off on him, as she should! They just met and he's already trying to control what she drinks?! The craziest part of this is that the woman stormed off and the dude stayed and ordered dinner for himself!
Garbagethegarbage saw a guy waiting for his date in the parking lot of the restaurant, playing guitar and singing. When she arrived, they walked in and it became clear that this man was dressed extremely formally except for the sandals on his feet. During the meal, he stood up and squeezed into the booth next to her so she was trapped. She was not having any of it. Honestly, he sounds like the worst kind of date dude.
CruzCrypto helped his friend make a home-cooked meal for his date — minced shrimp stuffed into chicken — and found out the hard way that his friend did not ask her date if she had any major food allergies before preparing this meal. About five minutes in, he hears shouting and panting and runs downstairs to find the woman on the floor, unable to breathe. The friend frantically looks for and finds an epipen. They administer it and call 911. She was eventually taken away by EMTs. Safe to say that relationship didn't work out.
Obviously, I had to save the best (read: worst, definitely worst!!!) for last. NexusHeart was waiting a table for two 21-year-olds that they believed to be on a date. But then the guy asked, "What kind of sex positions do you like?" and the girl stood up and yelled, "We are brother and sister!!" and stormed out, leaving him to pay for everything. Uh... WHAT?! Why would a brother and a sister ever have that conversation?!