If your significant other has ever given you a present you immediately wanted to return to the store, this story will make you think again. On Christmas Day, just a few weeks ago, one woman gave her boyfriend a 23andme DNA kit that had the couple so freaked out, they not only wanted to throw it out the window, but also promptly broke up and haven't spoken since.
Reddit user u/AccidentalxIncest (username checks out quite impeccably, might I add) took to the internet to share the story of how 23andme showed him and his girlfriend that they were in fact half-siblings. "I just found out a few hours ago and my girlfriend and I are currently a mental wreck," his post begins.
The post, which AccidentalxIncest generously updated in real time, is so ridiculously unbelievable, it should hit the big screen. Unfortunately, our narrator already recognizes the potential in his misfortune and forbids his post "to be used in the making of any movie, story, book, etc." So you'll have to read it here.
First, some background. Our narrator, let's call him Jack, has been in a happy, healthy and presumably loving relationship with Sarah for a little more than a year. Their relationship seems solid, they're from the same town, and met in college through a mutual friend. Sounds innocent enough, a meeting story not unlike many of my friends from undergrad.
Around the holidays, the two stayed at Jack's apartment because they'd decided against going home for the holidays. "Plus," adds Jack, "all my other roommates were back home visiting family," so they had the whole place to themselves to sit around and play house. "It was perfect," he mentions.
For Christmas, the lovebirds exchange gifts. "Sarah had bought the both of us 23andme DNA kits," which seems pretty run-of-the-mill in this day and age, considering all the flash sales they advertise for the holidays. If anything, the gift is even a bit of a cliché.
"The thing is," mentions Jack, "we were both conceived by in-vitro fertilization via sperm donors. Both of our fathers were infertile so our parents had no choice. Deep down, both of us were hoping to find our biological fathers."
Again, nothing too strange about this. Many couples use IVF, and considering the number of twins in the grades below me, it comes as no surprise that these guys ended up dating and are about college-aged.
On Christmas Day, they do the test, presumably enjoy the rest of their shacked-up holiday together and forget about the DNA. After all, these things take a while to process and the results often come as soon as you've forgotten you were waiting for them.
"Fast forward less than a month later to today," Jack writes, "and both of our results are in."
They pore over their results together on their laptops. "All was well until we arrived at the 'DNA relatives' section..."
The couple hold hands, wondering if the DNA test will shed light on their biological fathers. It's not a crazy curiosity, who wouldn't want to find out who half of their genes came from if the opportunity was presented to them?
Except, at the top of his screen, Jack "see[s] Sarah's name" and it says "27% DNA shared... half-sister."
Sarah "starts hysterically laughing," all stop messing with me, that's a) the opposite of funny and b) not at all what I took this test to find out.
Jack is absolutely stunned, doesn't "react to anything she says" and instead just stares "at [the] screen in disbelief."
Picture, for one second, this happening between you and a distant friend. Already, it's insane. Now picture it happening with someone you've been dating, sleeping with, and shacking up with in your apartment. I'm low-key freaking out just typing this.
To be absolutely sure to cover all his bases, Jack "abruptly" grabs Sarah's computer and opens up her DNA relatives section. "We see the same thing," he writes. "My name at the top... 27% DNA shared... half-brother."
At this point, his brain understandably "short-circuits." It hits him like a ton of bricks that he's been having sex with his half-sister for the past year and a half. Or as he puts it, "I'VE BEEN HAVING SEX WITH MY HALF-SISTER. HOLY F--KING S--T. WTF."
As it were, there's quite a simple explanation for how and why they could possibly be related. "It turns out our moms were probably both fertilized by the same sperm sample," he explains. "What are the f--king odds, right? The fact that we're from the same town certainly increased the odds, but still."
BUT STILL, indeed. Unsure about how to move forward and unable to process the information in front of them, the two remain stunned for hours. Six hours later, Jack updates his post: "Just typing this ... makes my body shiver. There are no words I have to express what my mental state is now. To put it in simple words: I feel traumatized. Part of me still won't stop thinking about how much I love Sarah and then I realize our entire relationship was incest. I honestly feel disgusted standing in my own skin."
Dude, no one is judging you and Sarah right now. There's absolutely no way you could have known what you were getting yourself into when you guys started dating a year and a half ago. Although it's totally horrid to knowingly date your half-sibling, I feel like there has to be some sort of loophole when you weren't raised together and didn't discover you were related until years into your relationship. I don't know, the ethics are murky.
By the time he finishes his post, Jack writes that he and Sarah "haven't talked at all" since their discovery. Or as he puts it, since they both went "into shock." "Sarah has grabbed her stuff and left my apartment," and Jack refers to her as his "former gf."
Ugh, this is kind of heartbreaking, in the most dystopian 2019 way. Jack even shared the screengrab of his and Sarah's "shared DNA" for all the haters who are saying the story's fake. If there's anyone who wishes it was all fake, it's definitely Jack and Sarah, whose whole worlds got turned upside down in an instant.
"I think the best way for Sarah and I to heal is to go back home [to our town] and see how this all began with our families," he concludes. "Only then will we be able to accept the reality."
Hopefully he'll update his post as things develop, and we'll be sure to keep you posted on here as well. Sarah and Jack, wherever you are, stay strong and just remember that, if you ever need a few extra bucks, Hollywood execs would die to tell your tale.