Beards have been in style for awhile now, and you'd think we would have figured out everything we can do with them. But humans are nothing if not incredibly inventive. Put glitter in it, hang ornaments, twist it into weird shapes — or maybe just look at it from a different direction? And while some men are born to rock beards, others should pick up the razor ASAP. Like Eminem, for example, whose facial hair has seriously divided the internet between fans with beard envy... and those who miss the rapper's clean look. Unfortunately, not all men can look like Captain America with a full beard.
But leave it to social media to ruin a good thing — like beards aka male facial contouring. Twitter user @ehdannyboy shared a new perspective on the beard with his followers that is both hilarious and horrifying, and it's absolutely shocking that we haven't seen it before. So simple! All you have to do is shoved a bearded person's head back and you'll see something completely unexpected: a nightmare.
I think what's unsettling about these photos of men with beards looking upwards is that your brain still tries to process them as faces.
This is like a nightmare face caught in a wormhole:
This is a punk face that has had its eyes and mouth erased:
This face has been decapitated and then hair grew up from the stump:
This face has floppy dog ears?!
I will see all these faces in my nightmares. Especially because people started to animate them:
Please draw faces on their necks— Scott Fulton (@scottfultonlive) June 2, 2018
This natural version is the worst of all:
Soon everyone with a beard and a neck was joining in:
If you're not freaked out, just imagine a whole army of these guys coming at you:
This is why I like clean shaven men.