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This Story Of Lunch Theft Is So Wild People Are Screaming Over It
3 weeks ago

Writer and comedian Zak Toscani is sharing what he claims to be a 100% true story that is unfolding in his office. One of his co-worker's got their lunch stolen—a common and extremely frustrating occurrence in the workplace. But the co-worker is not taking it lying down! He demanded to see the security tape, and everyone freaked out.

First, Toscani got into the specifics. We need to know what was stolen to understand the severity of the crime:

The victim returned, carrying new knowledge:

It turns out, the thief didn't even eat the food. The woman was caught on camera removing someone's lunch form the fridge and throwing it straight in the trash:

The guy whose lunch was trashed for no clear reason decided not to take the matter farther—but everyone in the office knows.

And then the guilty party returned. Help, I'm too wound up by this story:

And then after the perpetrator read the email from HR she played it off. I'm screaming!

The situation is continuing, but it's unclear when it will boil to a head. Someone will eventually tell this woman that they all know. They all know she steals lunches for seemingly no reason.

How do you keep that a secret??

People are suggesting theories for why the two protagonists would behave this way:

And sharing fond memories of busting other lunch thieves:

But most people want justice to be served!

To be continued.

Update: The story still has no satisfying conclusion, but Toscani has wrapped it up as best he can:

But one person is happy with the unsatisfying conclusion. Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Which is clearly the best conclusion Toscani could ask for: