The truth isn't always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.
You can't make this stuff up.
"Bill, remember when I said you're kind of an alcoholic...well...I think you own me an apology..."
If I was a kid in school, I'd totally use "illegal math" as an excuse for why I never did my homework.
When life gives you electric fences, you make electric fence DIY defibrillator lemonade.
I'm so happy President Trump is tackling issues that really matter in such effective and meaningful ways.
Guess the clergy discount expired.
If you think that sounds bad, you should see how much they dock when you have an emotional breakdown in the event of a miscarriage.
The things we do for money and viral fame.
Ahh yes, the forgotten "help cholesterol" commandment.
This cat just changed the game.
Oh, well, in that case...
"And if poop didn't work I was gonna step it up to bile!"
Imagine this becomes Wyoming tradition? Like how New Yorkers intentionally drive like garbage and Floridians vote for morons?
Nap. Er. Cise.
"Pleaz excooz him frum crymes."
"Man Dale, there sure are lotsa green Mexicans with big heads over here stealing our jobs according to these calls..."
No. Stop. STOP. It's dumb crap like this that made people vote for a moron like Trump.
He was getting $30,000 of wine imported from France every month.
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