36 Santa Jokes That'll Send Your Kids Into a Laugh Attack

These kid-friendly Santa jokes will get the whole family into the holiday spirit.


Dec. 20 2018, Updated 4:52 p.m. ET

christmas jokes for kids
Source: istock

We've covered PG-13 Santa jokes in the past, but this time we're doubling down to bring you Christmas humor the whole family can enjoy. And by whole family, we mean specifically your kids. Or the kid in you, whatever.

From Santa jokes to reindeer quips, read on for 36 Christmas jokes that'll leave the whole family in stitches.

Article continues below advertisement

Santa Jokes for Kids

1) Q: How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?
A: Only one. After that, it's not empty. 

2) Q: What is Santa's favorite Olympic sport?
A: The North Pole vault.

3) Q: What did the reindeer sing to Santa on his birthday?
A: "Freeze a jolly good fellow."

christmas jokes for kids
Source: istock
Article continues below advertisement

4) Q: Why is Santa always so jolly?
A: Because he know where all the toys are!

5) Q: What type of potato chip is Santa's favorite?
A: Crisp Pringles

6) Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claus-trophobic.

7) Q: What goes "ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh"?
A: Santa caught in a revolving door.

8) Q: What says "oh, oh, oh"?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards.

9) Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
A: Elephanta Claus.

Article continues below advertisement

10) Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.

11) Q: What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
A: Snow.

Christmas Jokes for Kids

12) Q: Why is it always cold at Christmas?
A: Because it's in Decembrrrrrrrr.

13) Q: How does a sheep say "Merry Christmas"?
A: "Fleece Navidad!"

14) Q: What happens when you eat Christmas ornaments?
A: You get Tinsel-itis!

15) Q: What do fish sing during winter?
A: Christmas corals.

16) Jack: What are you going to give your little brother for Christmas this year?
Joe: I'm not sure yet.
Jack: What did you give him last year?
Joe: The chicken pox.

Article continues below advertisement
christmas jokes for kids
Source: istock

17) Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: It's Christmas, Eve.

18) Q: What is the No. 1 Christmas present?
A: A broken drum. You can't beat it.

19) Q: Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
A: They both drop needles.

Article continues below advertisement

20) Q: What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A: A pineapple.

21) Q: What's every parent's favorite Christmas carol?
A: "Silent Night."

22) Q: What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert?
A: "Camel Ye Faithful."

23) Q: When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary.

24) Q: What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
A: He got 12 months.

25) Sister: What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas?
Brother: A list of all the things I want!

Jokes About Santa's Helpers

Article continues below advertisement

26) Q: What was the elf allergic to?
A: Sh-ELF-ish.

27) Q: What do reindeer have that no other animals have?
A: Baby reindeer!

28) Q: What famous singer is a favorite of elves?
A: Elfish Presley.

christmas jokes for kids
Source: istock
Article continues below advertisement

29) Q: Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A: RUDE-olph.

30) Q: Why do reindeer tell such good stories?
A: Because they all have tails.

31) Q: Where do you find reindeer?
A: Depends where you left them.

32) Q: What do you call a greedy elf?
A: Elfish.

33) Q: Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?
A: Because he went down in history.

34) Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
A: Frostbite.

35) Q: What does Frosty always say when asked about his job?
A: "There's no business like snow business."

36) Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A: Do you smell carrots?

Merry Christmas! Here's hoping Santa put you on the nice list and will be delivering you many presents this year!

More from Distractify

Latest Humor News and Updates

    Opt-out of personalized ads

    © Copyright 2023 Distractify. Distractify is a registered trademark. All Rights Reserved. People may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.