Statistically, your social media avatar is probably a flattering pic of you, or a goofy cartoon character. But why not both? Twitter user @aansontm made an offer the Internet couldn't refuse: RT and follow and you get your own hand-drawn avi.
What they didn't say was that they would draw you well, accurately, or even kindly. Some of these drawings are so freaking rude, people couldn't believe it. And the rest of us are laughing.
No matter how unflattering, some people will always be unfailingly polite about other's artistic efforts:
No matter how terrifying their illustrated avi is, they accept it with gratitude:
Just kidding. Apparently, a lot more dudes than women are pretty vain:
Like, it's true that this drawing looks like Sideshow Bob, but it's also true that my man just got a hand-drawn avi for free, so take it with a thank you!
The men are mad, but if your face looks like a bicycle seat, what else can the artist do but portray what they see?
At a certain point, the drawings became so insulting that people couldn't help laughing at themselves:
Insult people until they come around:
Eventually, they'll reach a place of total acceptance. This is what they look like, what they have always looked like.
A beautiful acorn-headed elf of the woods:
But the greatest honor of all was bestowed on Twitter user @AlmightyJoeyy, who was transformed into the Internet's greatest hero: Arthur the aardvark.
An avatar to treasure forever, because it's the same as John Legend's.
I grew up in a marginally superstitious family who brought some beliefs and hocus-pocus superstitions from the old country. I couldn't make too much noise late at night for fear of attracting a "jinn." I couldn't point at cemeteries or stare into a mirror for too long or my face would become deformed, and heaven help me if I was ever mean to or disobeyed my parents or grandparents, because then I'd be looking at a cursed life that would ruin me until the day that I died.
But the idea of "back luck" or stepping on cracks, walking under ladders, or stealing a black cat's macchiato isn't something that my family really bought into. Sure, we believed in supernatural stuff and the idea that karma gets back around to mess with you or your kids, but "bad luck"?
No honey, it isn't luck that's ruining your life, it's an unseen species of metaphysical monsters that exist in a different plane we know little about—but they are mentioned in the Quran, so be careful!
There are phenomena so unfortunate that simply looking at images of them will cause the same bad luck to befall you. So on this Friday the 13th, gaze upon these pictures with extreme caution.
Growing up as a Muslim-Albanian family with very patriarchal ideas on the way a family is supposed to operate, my idea of what a father should be was a very "man's man" one.
He brings home the bacon, laughs maybe five times a year, and was really into Clint Eastwood and Martin Scorcese movies. Oh, and a Marlboro Red had to be perpetually hanging out the side of his mouth.
Fast forward years later and here I am, dadding it up, and I'm not that, like, at all. The manliest thing I probably do is hit the gym, bro, and not shave my chest hair. Other than that though, I'm nothing like the former generation of "guy's guys" that raised me. Which I'm totally cool with, because I'm already learning special hair braids to try out on my daughter once she gets older. Because her old man might be a North Jersey meathead, but he's going to be a meathead who doesn't mind having tea parties and getting his nails painted with his little girl.