These Jokes About the Month of August Will Put a Smile on Everyone's Face

These jokes about August and the summer more generally will make you crack a smile during the warmest month of the year.


Aug. 1 2022, Updated 12:44 p.m. ET

A cat with sunglasses
Source: istock

There isn't much obviously funny about the month of August, as it's the last breath of summer, the hottest time of the year, and the precursor to back-to-school.

To cope with all of the emotions surrounding August, here are some jokes and puns for all ages about the month of August, and some jokes about summer more broadly! Keep scrolling for a laugh.

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A watermelon with sunglasses
Source: istock

August jokes for all ages

1. Q: On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were? A: June, July, and August.

2. Is today really August? Or are you Julying to me?

3. Q: Don't June know it's August? A: I can't December.

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4. Q: Knock, knock!

  • A: Who's there?
  • Q: August!
  • A: August ... who?
  • Q: A gust of wind over 74 mph could be the start of a hurricane!

5. The doctor has given me two months to live. I've chosen August and December, because I like summer but don't want to miss Christmas.

6. My childhood crush and I are finally getting married this year! Me in August, and her in November.

7. I bought this jacket last August! I got a really good deal because I bought it before it was cool.

8. Looking for a hot date? Pick any day in August, they don't get much hotter than that!

9. Julius Caesar was famously killed on the Ides of March, but he wasn't expecting the attack until August 2. His final words embodied his dismay over the scheduling confusion: "8/2, Brute..."

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A person holding up oranges
Source: istock

10. My little daughter came to me all excited, saying, “Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I’ll be in August!” I said, “Oh I don’t know princess, why don’t you tell me?” She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers ... It’s now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won’t say where she got them...

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11. My wife and I just had a daughter and named her JuneJulyAugust. We call her Summer for short.

12. Sorry the only responses to your August birthday party invitations are out-of-office replies!

Summer jokes for the whole family

13. Q: Do fish go on vacation? A: No, because they're always in school!

14. Q: Where do sharks go for summer vacation? A: Finland!

15. Q: Where do ants travel for summer vacation? A: Frants!

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A dog driving a car
Source: istock

16. Q: What do you call a Labrador at the beach in August?
A: A hot dog!

17. Q: What does a bee do when it's hot?
A: He takes off his yellow jacket

18. Q: Why do bananas use sun screen?
A: Because they peel.

19. Q: Which letter is the coolest?
A: Iced T!

20. Q: What do you get when you combine an elephant with a fish? A: Swimming trunks!

21. Q: What do you do if you get rejected from a job at a sunscreen factory? A: Reapply!

22. Q: What does the sun drink out of? A: Sunglasses!

23. Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer day? A: I'm bacon!

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