34 Back-to-School Jokes to Tell on the First Day of Class


Aug. 1 2019, Updated 4:17 p.m. ET

back to school jokes for kids
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You know what's not a laughing matter? The fact that summer vacation is coming to a close. But with these hilarious back-to-school jokes for kids, you'll have a smile back on your face in no time. 

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Back-to-school jokes for kids that'll have you laughing. 

Whether you're a teacher who wants to have a full comedic repertoire on the first day of school, or just want to have the best jokes to share with your classmates come September, keep scrolling for the best back-to-school jokes for kids.

back to school jokes for kids
Source: istock
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Back-to-School Jokes for Kids

1. Billy comes home from school on his first day and mom asks him, "What did you learn today?" "Not enough," said Billy. "They said I have to go back tomorrow."

2. Q: Why does the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
A: Because of all her bright students.

3. Q: What's the king of school supplies?
A: The ruler.

4. "Class, we will only have half a day of school this morning," said the teacher to applause from her students. "But in the afternoon, we will have the other half."

5. Q: What kind of school do surfers go to?
A: Boarding school.

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6. Q: Why are cyclops such great teachers? 

A: They only have one pupil.

7. Q: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 mph. Where do they meet?
A: In traffic school.

8. "Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?" the teacher asks. "Yes, ma'am," says Tommy. "Right at the bottom."

9. Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
A: To reach the high notes.

10. Q: How do you make sure to get straight A's?
A: You use a ruler!

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back to school jokes for kids
Source: istock

11. Q: What did the pen say to the pencil?
A: What's your point?

12. Q: What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
A: Stop going in circles and get to the point!

13. Q: What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
A: Bookworms

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14. Q: Where do people go to learn how to make ice cream?
A: Sundae school.

15. Q: Why did the teacher write on the windows?
A: He wanted his lessons to be very clear.

16. Teacher: Why does the Statue of Libery stand in New York?
Student: Because it can't sit down.

17. Q: What starts with a T, ends with a T and is full of T?
A: A teapot.

18. Q: Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
A: Because he swept her off her feet.

19. Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in high school.

20. Q: What is white when it is dirty and black when it is clean?
A: A blackboard.

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21. Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because it had many problems.

22. Q: Why did the boy eat his math homework?
A: Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

23. Q: Why did the girl eat her homework?
A: Because she didn't have a dog.

24. Q: How can you make seven even?
A: Take away the "s"

back to school jokes for kids
Source: istock
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25. What's a math teacher's favorite dessert?
A: Pi

26. Q: Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot.

27. Q: Matt had 60 cookies. He ate 30 of them. What does he have now?
A: a Tummy ache.

28. Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?
A: You're pointless

29. Q: Why did the obtuse angle get upset?
A: Because it knew it would never be right.

30. Q: What did the math book say to the history book?
A: Boy, do I have problems.

31. Q: How can you make one dime into 20 cents?
A: Place it in front of the mirror.

32. Q: How many women were born in the year 2008?
A: None, only babies were born.

33. Q: Why is glue bad at math?
A: It always gets stuck on problems.

34. Q: How do you make one vanish?
A: Add a 'g' to the beginning and it's gone.

We hope you have a great start to the school year!

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