30 Funny Tweets That Describe 'Boomer Culture' to a T
Baby boomers are probably the easiest generation to make fun of these days...because they deserve it. These tweets perfectly, and savagely, describe "boomer culture."
It can be hard to sum up just how infuriating baby boomer behavior is to younger generations. "OK Boomer" has become an all-time classic meme because it's such a simple way to roll our eyes at the old-fashioned, outdated, and frankly sometimes offensive things baby boomers do and say. No one has really summed up the problem with baby boomers better than George Carlin.
Carlin called baby boomers "whiny, narcissistic, self-indulgent people with a simple philosophy: Gimme it! It's mine! Give me that. It's mine! These people were given everything. Everything was handed to them and they took it all... But now they're staring down the barrel of middle-age burnout, and they don't like it. So they turned self-righteous. And they want to make things hard on younger people."
Sound familiar? Boomer culture is everywhere we look. And it's... well, it's the worst. At least these funny (yet very accurate) tweets will help us laugh about what this generation has left the rest of us with (hint: it's not a lot!).
1. Turning the page
Every single old male teacher I had growing up did this, and it was so gross. It made me not want to handle that paper! No, I don't want a syllabus with a side of your saliva, thank you very much.
2. Decorative hand towels
Boomers admonish millennials and other young generations about owning frivolous objects, but they're like, the kings and queens of useless things. Hand towels that you're not supposed to use are one thing, but can we talk about those Precious Moments figurines? Literally just glass garbage.
3. Six remotes
I have given up trying to use the television in my parents' house because I just have no idea which remote does which thing. One of them turns the TV on, another one changes the channels, and yet a third controls the volume. Good luck if you want to connect to Netflix.
4. One-finger texting
We have all had the experience of watching an adult type on a phone or a computer keyboard and getting so frustrated you just want to grab it out of their hands and do it for them. It's insane how much time they waste pecking at keyboards with one finger.
5. President of wifi
This is so true. Whenever the internet isn't working, boomers look for the youngest person in the room and blame it on them. They simply don't understand how any of it works.
6. Work email
I've only had a couple of actual work email addresses in my entire life and they've never lasted more than like... a year. I can't imagine giving out my work email as a way to get in touch because chances are, it won't exist tomorrow.
7. Stock images
It's baffling to me what older people decide to post on social media. It's often things like this, which are just pure nonsense. We've all seen that photo of a beach with a palm tree. Pretty sure it's one of Apple's pre-loaded wallpaper images.
8. Elton John
There's no one more full of hypocrisy than a homophobic baby boomer who loves Elton John. "How can it be?" you may ask. "It may be," I answer, "because baby boomers think they can do whatever they want and construct their own reality without it affecting others. They're wrong."
9. No tip
Baby boomers are notoriously bad tippers, which is fascinating because they're some of the most financially stable people on the planet. Meanwhile, broke millennials are giving their barista the last dollar they have to be polite even though their order was completely wrong.
10. Sale prices
I don't know anyone who pays attention to sales the way baby boomers did. If they cared as much about the planet as they do about the Williams Sonoma spring clearance sale, maybe climate change wouldn't be such an issue.
Baby boomers think we spend too much money on avocado toast, but in the meantime, they're flushing dollars down the toilet... or more accurately, flushing dollars down the phone line no one uses anymore.
12. Full volume
This one is so true, but I would extend it to say that boomer culture is having your phone go off...at any volume. Only boomers don't keep their phones on vibrate 100 percent of the time. I don't even know what my ringtone is anymore.
13. ALL CAPS
If you feel like you're being yelled at by a boomer over text, it might be because they always type in all caps. But it also might be because they actually mean to yell at you. Boomers like yelling.
14. Asking for help
You shouldn't be ashamed to ask for help when you need it, but boomers often expect store employees to basically do their shopping for them. I would rather wander around the grocery store for hours looking for the canned chilis than ask for help.
15. Multiple ellipses...
I don't know what it is about boomers and that period button, but they can't seem to stop hitting it at the end of texts. And yes, it does give every message they send a total serial killer vibe.
16. Vacation experts
Boomers with lots of vacation time often use it to go to the exact same places over and over again. Why would they go somewhere new when they have their timeshare in Boca? And they can drive. It only takes 11 hours!
This website design hurts my soul. It's so boomer I can't even tell. No one except your silly aunt sends you eCards, but she'll do it for every occasion, and one is cheesier than the next.
18. Scratching an itch
Oh my god. I am picturing a boomer I know do this exact thing in my head. It happens all the time. What is with that? Why is this a thing? But it totally is. It's such a specifically boomer thing.
I wonder if Yahoo email will die out with the boomers because I literally don't know anyone under the age of 60 with a Yahoo email address. What a relic of the early internet.
Boomers spent our whole lives prepping us for college and now they're mad that we've gone and learned things and are trying to better the experience for ourselves. What a pickle.
Those alarmist news broadcasts about how people are constantly stealing your information get to baby boomers so easily, but it's like, what are these people going to steal? The blurry closeup photo of your face with a filter border of cats and flowers around it? Probably not.
22. Exotic food
Sure, as the years have passed, access to different types of food has expanded. But let's not pretend that sushi is "exotic." It's sold at Trader Joe's. TJ's sushi may be bad, but it's still there.
Boomers don't understand that your phone does all the work for you these days. Whenever I'm caravanning with my mom, she still insists that we wait and follow each other even though we're both leaving at the same time and both have the directions on our phones. I don't get it.
I'm just going to say it: Giving boomers access to social media was a mistake. When they're retired and they have nothing better to do, they put their every thought into a Facebook status, and I think we, collectively, just can't take it anymore.
I will say that I own a printer and it is the most boomer thing about me. I am not a boomer, but you might be confused when I tell you that the only things I really use my printer for are to print my boarding passes for flights and to print my weekly crossword puzzles.
This may be the most frustrating aspect of boomer culture. Boomers are the ones who have fallen for Fox News. They're the ones who believe everything they read, and I'm pretty sure they invented the phrase, "Don't believe everything you read." It's disheartening to see otherwise intelligent people completely lose themselves because someone on TV told a lie and they believe it.
27. Computer viruses
Literally no one gets computer viruses anymore... except for baby boomers. I don't know how they do it. It's honestly impressive. Whoever works for, like, the Geek Squad or one of those other services where they make house calls should really get a raise. And a vacation. And a drink.
28. Cable music stations
These stations are always the weirdest because they're often like, instrumental smooth jazz versions of famous rock songs, so you're standing there squirting ketchup on your burger when it hits you. "Oh man, it's Purple Rain!"
29. Mentioning ethnicities
This immediately makes me think of Fleabag's stepmother introducing her friends during the wedding episode. Not only does she have to announce everyone's ethnicities but also their sexual orientations. It's so real.
30. Exit only
Going back to George Carlin, things were easy for the baby boomers. They were pretty much given everything they'd ever need (a generalization, but you get it). So if they want to go in the exit door, that's what they're going to do. They believe they deserve it.