If there's one thing all millennials share, it's complete frustration with the way baby boomers use social media. We get it; you didn't have computers growing up. But it's called learning. It's called adapting. It's called not accidentally making your Facebook status the thing you meant to type into a search engine.
Now, there's a Facebook group called "A group where we all pretend to be boomers," and it's exactly like the title says. It's full of posts by young people posting like boomers in an effort to make fun of them, and let me tell you: it's working. It's laugh-out-loud hilarious, and thanks to group member Anna Michelle Hollis, who shared screenshots of a bunch of the group's posts on Twitter, I can share them with you.
Honestly thank goodness Anna decided she should share the love because otherwise, none of us would have ever known about this group. This tweet, which now has over 40,000 retweets and 173,000 likes, is the start of a thread where she posted screenshots of posts from the Facebook group. And folks, they're extremely good.
I'm already crying. This is so funny. This post accomplishes two hallmarks of baby boomer social media posts. First, the errant spacing. There's no way "Tom" was meant to be on a separate line from "Dinner with." And second, the blurry picture of nothing. It's poetic. It's haunting. It's so very boomer.
But perhaps even better than the posts themselves are the comments on those posts from others, who are also pretending to be boomers.
The scary faces! The benign message in aggressive all caps! And last but certainly not least — in fact, the worst one of them all — the dreaded comma ellipses. I have no idea why ",,," became a thing among people who don't understand social media but it grates on my very soul like no other online offense.
It's just like baby boomers to get into some other completely unrelated conversation in the comment section of a Facebook post. Their ability to shift gears like that is truly unprecedented and totally baffling. This started out as a post telling people he was at dinner with Tom, and now, somehow, they're talking about being addicted to painkillers. It's perfect.
Baby boomers love to post about how they don't know how to use technology.
Thinking the app store is in the mall... Classic Grandma! Have you ever tried to explain how cell phones or data or apps work to anyone over 55? It's probably the most frustrating thing you can do. In fact, this should be how we punish criminals. Make them teach tech classes to boomers.
Boomers also for some reason love Minions memes.
They love Minions memes, and they love telling inappropriate jokes that somehow turn into terribly sad memorials and prayers for their dead spouses. This posts nails it. Unless Randy was round, yellow, always naked save for a pair of giant goggles, and pushed deodorant up his butt, there's no reason to bring up Randy here!
Now, this post almost nails it, but the picture on the right is definitely a Toaster Strudel, and I always associate those with '90s and early '00s kids. However, sharing a meme and not addressing the meaning of the meme at all? Simply sharing it because it has a picture of a Twinkie in it? Very boomer behavior.
Of course, dirty old man boomers on Facebook cannot help but comment weird things on memes like this that don't make any sense but you still know they're trying to be gross. And that "how to charge angry face to like" is just...*chef's kiss*! Perfect.
This post is great. The pineapple background, the addition of the Red Lobster date memory, the all-caps "AMEN." It's almost like this person is an actual baby boomer who snuck into the group... But that's not possible because no boomer would know how to do that.
As good as this post is, the comments make it even better.
The Minions shopping meme is so perfectly out-of-place here. The comment about Red Lobster's biscuits is on point (and very correct), and the question about who she married is also spot on. It's like baby boomers think that because you're on social media, all need for tact goes out the window.
"SORRY FOR LOSS IM SINGLE" is that classic baby boomer tactic of centering themselves on someone else's post. "Oh, you lost your partner? Well, I never had one to begin with. I'm single. If you need a new partner, I'm single, as I just shouted at you from across the internet, so let me know if you're interested."
I love this post so much. Baby boomers not only don't understand how to do anything technological, but they also don't know the right questions to ask in order to learn anything technological. They ask nonsense questions and then sign their posts even though their name is right there at the top.
Boomers love to post things about other people that makes you ask, "Do you think she got permission from Wanda to share this information? Do you think Wanda wants her business spread across Facebook? When do you think she'll realize she didn't switch tabs to Google when she typed, 'HOW TO GET RID OF ANTS?"
The first comment on this post might be the funniest thing in this whole group:
I mean, you just can't top this. The unemotional callousness, the casual lack of empathy in the "Ok" is truly unparalleled in boomer-speak. Not even "OK" or "Ok!" Just "Ok." In response to "The doctors don't think he will make it through the night." Truly top-notch comedy right there.
The next best genre of boomer post is the "tragic news on happy background" post.
There is something so melancholy and poetic about this. The balloons symbolize her spirit being guided up to heaven by the wind. The all caps suggest such anguish. Such unbridled grief. And the lack of punctuation, well, who has time for punctuation when you are trying to break hard news?
Baby boomers need to be sat down and shown all the emojis where there are tears coming out of the eyes. Then, they need to be tested on the difference between the crying laughing emoji and all the others. It will be an all-day workshop with a 15-minute lunch break, and it's mandatory for everyone over the age of 50.
This is bleak on a whole 'nother level. In general, I don't think boomers understand what is socially acceptable to share on social media, and what you should probably just keep to yourself. I would like to interview baby boomers on what exactly they use social media for.
Here's another staple of baby boomer Facebook posts.
Ah yes, the personal question as timeline post. I've seen it often. This happens when a boomer wants to message a particular person but either thinks they are typing a private message or a post on their wall or doesn't even know you can do that in the first place.
The responses are top-notch.
I always see people posting, "I didn't ask for this!" and "Why am I seeing this?" and "Take this off my page!" and honey, it's hilarious. Older people don't seem to understand that there are algorithms and advertising at work on top of the simple fact that, if you accept someone as a friend or "like" their page, you will see their posts. It's impossible to explain it to them.
This reads like a short play, which gives me an idea. Who wants to put on a live performance of the posts in this Facebook group? The material is already written, and it's brilliant as is. We need jokesters, we need emoji over-users, and we need people who always think every post is "another virus."
Finally, a comment about kidney stones. Baby boomers always make it about themselves. Anyway, I highly suggest joining this Facebook group.