I don't know about you, but when I buy something online, I always assume that's what's going to show up on my doorstep. I don't order something thinking, "Welp, let's hope that's the thing that I get!"
But I have a feeling Dave Meslin isn't ever going to trust online shopping again after this debacle. Basically, he tried to order a pack of 25 cardboard boxes. What he got instead? Bags of granola. It happened repeatedly, but Dave didn't become convinced he'd gone crazy, as I would have. He figured out what was going on, but by that point, there was no way of knowing how to stop it.
Pretty simple order, right? He probably needed boxes to ship some gifts to friends or whatnot. Maybe he has a business of his own and needs boxes to ship out his products. Whatever the reason, I'm sure that when Dave ordered these boxes, he expected to get these boxes. But he did not.
Not going to lie, that granola looks pretty delicious. But it's also not 25 cardboard boxes. And you can't send packages by covering whatever you want to send in granola. Pretty sure the post office has rules against it. So, because it seemed like a reasonable error, Dave sent the package back.
Sure, Amazon is a giant, evil corporation that exploits its workers big time, but they make it soooo easy to return packages. Once I got a pair of shoes, and one of them was damaged, and within days I had a new pair. Their process is free and easy and probably causes a giant headache for their warehouse workers, so for that, I'm sorry.
But this process didn't work for Dave.
At this point, even Dave's cat is like, "Dude, what's going on here? Why can't they just send you the cardboard boxes you ordered? What's going on here?" Yeah, I got all that from that cat's look.
Fool Dave once, shame on you. Fool Dave twice, he's going to start the whole process over thinking that will fix it. Seems like the reasonable thing to do in the moment, right? Well, it didn't work.
At least it's not more granola, right? Still, this is a complete mystery. He keeps trying to order a specific 25-pack of cardboard boxes and getting other random, items. What's happening here?
OK, but if this order goes wrong, this is on Dave. Why would he think it would work out this time? Maybe at this point he's just curious to see what's going to show up at his door next.
But then, Dave has an epiphany.
AHA! Genius. Amazon scans the box order but picks up the old sticker — which is an order for granola or Harry Potter coasters — and that's what he ends up getting. Still, how is he supposed to correct this? He'll have to talk to someone.
Hm. This method will probably work...but that's also a lot of money up front and a lot of trips to the post office. There's got to be an easier way to get what he needs.
Going semi-viral on Twitter with this thread seemed like maybe it would help. Amazon's Help center reached out to him to talk to someone about what was going wrong with his order. Now that he was able to articulate it, maybe he'd get the right thing.
He even double checked that the error had been fixed and that he would get his cardboard boxes. So, probably knowing that what he was doing was extremely not going to work, he ordered the boxes one last time.
And he got granola again. This time, maple walnut. I can just imagine the look on Dave's face, the grave head shake, the slumped shoulders, when this single box arrived full of bags of granola.
At this point, Dave has learned his lesson. He's going to walk into a physical store where he can pick up the boxes. The cashier might look at him funny when he asks, "These won't turn into bags of granola when I get home, right?" But ultimately, he will have his boxes.
Dave still hasn't heard anything from the box company, but Purely Elizabeth, the granola company, has reached out! "The universe clearly thought you needed some granola in your life!" they wrote in response to Dave's thread. "DM us if you are loving our products. We'd love to make you a true fan ;)"
Hopefully, Dave will come out of this debacle with his boxes and a bunch of free granola. That might make all of this worth it.