featured dad tweets
Source: ITV Studios / Twitter

20 Funny Tweets About Dads Being Dads

By

Oct. 30 2019, Updated 3:37 p.m. ET

Listen, we often roll our eyes at dads. They make silly jokes and get up at 4:30 in the morning and freak out if you blast the AC. But truly, we wouldn't have it any other way. Dads are the best. They're a constant source of laughter and wisdom, specifically about how to grill things. Without dads, none of us would know the perfect temperature for the thermostat or how to buy a used car or how to do taxes. Dads rarely get the credit they deserve. These tweets are all about dads and the things we love them for doing.

Article continues below advertisement

Up early

Dads love to fall asleep on the couch. Who else grew up fighting over who had to wake up dad because, no matter how gently you shook him awake, he'd startle himself to consciousness, scaring everyone around him? No? Just me and my siblings?

Article continues below advertisement

Airport arrival time

In my house, it's actually my mom who is paranoid about getting to the airport early. My dad is always sarcastically like, "Maybe if we leave now we'll be there in time for our flight... next Tuesday." Classic dad.

Article continues below advertisement

BBQ advice

Listen, dads don't know much. But they know how to work the grill, and they're not going to pass up an opportunity to teach their children — or anyone who will listen — what they know. 

Article continues below advertisement

Gifts

This is funny because it's true, but it's also not funny because it's true. Dads! Be involved in the lives of your children! Participate in your family! Know what you and your partner are giving your children for Christmas. 

Article continues below advertisement

"The Walking Dad"

A fun thing to do is to go up to your dad and be like, "Hey, Dad, can I ask you a question real quick?" When he says, "Sure, kiddo. Let's sit down. What's on your mind?" you go, "I was just wondering... Are you made of money?" Guaranteed he'll hit the roof. Every time.

Article continues below advertisement

So close

This is A+ dad content. Dads have a lot going on. They have a lawn to mow and bills to pay. They can't be expected to learn a character's name, even if he is the main villain in one of the biggest franchises in pop culture history. 

Article continues below advertisement

Adjusting the thermostat

Trying to secretly adjust the thermostat when a dad is around is like trying to outrun a lion. It's not going to happen. You're going to get caught. And you're going to get devoured alive.. .or at least lectured to about how the heat or the AC costs money to run. 

Article continues below advertisement

"Who?"

Again, how can you expect your dad to remember your best friend's name when he has a mortgage to pay? Mom will bring up intimate details even you don't know about your friends' lives, but dad can't ever be bothered. What do you expect? He has to clean the gutters.

Article continues below advertisement

Dramatic

This is such a perfect dad text. I can't get over it. Dads love to talk about their homes as if they are hotels and their children are mere guests. It's a totally universal dad thing.

Article continues below advertisement

Annoying waiters

No one makes a waiter uncomfortable like a dad. One time, I even found myself "apologizing with my eyes" for the behavior of my friend's father when we were all out to eat. Even having me as a guest didn't deter him from being way too friendly and weird.

Article continues below advertisement

Fashion show

This was definitely not just her family. I remember this and so do many people, judging by the 107,000 retweets and nearly 500,000 likes this tweet received. It was definitely a thing.

Article continues below advertisement

Screaming at the TV

This encapsulates so much of the dad experience. Dads love screaming at the TV. It's probably one of their top three favorite activities. And it's also just like dads to disparage a man for destroying shirts. Those are perfectly good shirts he's tearing in half!

Article continues below advertisement

Dad in the yard

It's a rare sight to catch a dad standing still in the yard. When you see one, approach with caution. They are often lost in thought and won't see you coming until you tap them on the shoulder. Whatever you do, make sure you have a glass of ice cold lemonade to hand them when you do disturb their peace.

Article continues below advertisement

Tucked in

There are a few different dad uniforms, but an element among several of them is the tucked in shirt. Whether it's a button-down or an American flag t-shirt, dads love a good tuck.

Article continues below advertisement

Phone ringing

I've never seen a dad as angry as my dad when we just sat down to dinner and the phone started ringing. "Don't these people know it's dinner time?" No dad. No they don't.

Article continues below advertisement

Set the table

When it's dad's turn to set the table, you end up with things in front of you that you've never seen before, that dad found in the depths of your kitchen in a place that hasn't seen the light of day since 1994. When you make fun of him for not using the things you use every day, he'll claim the dusty stuff he somehow found is just as good.

Article continues below advertisement

Dad joke

I love this so much. This is written as a joke, but I really wouldn't put it past every single dad in a Dad 5k to do fake being hit by the gunshot starting the race. 

Article continues below advertisement

Daducation

When you give you father a "daducation" (as I like to call it) in the things that matter to you, he can't help but want to impress you with his newfound knowledge. And he's always so good at it! 

Article continues below advertisement

Old friends

Dad is the only one who remembers that girl you hung out with in kindergarten because that was the last time he paid attention to your friends. At your high school graduation, he'll be like, "Hey, where's Suzie?" and you have to be like, "Suzie... Suzie? You mean Suzie who moved to China in first grade?"

Article continues below advertisement

Up and at 'em

This is not a joke. This is real. We in my family have dubbed my dad the "Vacation Nazi" because he's always up at the crack of dawn and has a plan to fill every second of every minute of every day.

Advertisement
More from Distractify

More From Distractify