We've been hunkered down in quarantine for about two months now, and that means many members of our family are in dire need of haircuts, including the four-legged ones. We've seen people give themselves or each other regrettable quarantine haircuts, but now, it's the dogs' turn. Poor pooches everywhere are suffering from patchy, terrible quarantine haircuts, proving once and for all that professional groomers are professional for a reason.
It all started when Captain America himself, Chris Evans, shared this photo of his dog's tragically uneven haircut.
I assured him I knew what I was doing. He seemed skeptical at first, but with the help of a few treats, I talked him into it.— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) May 4, 2020
It went so wrong, so fast. I guess some things are better left to the professionals.
(He hasn’t seen a mirror yet. I told him it looks great) pic.twitter.com/uooHwtmgH3
"I assured him I knew what I was doing," Chris Evans wrote. "He seemed skeptical at first, but with the help of a few treats, I talked him into it. It went so wrong, so fast. I guess some things are better left to the professionals. (He hasn’t seen a mirror yet. I told him it looks great.)" It does not look great.
Look into this poor pup's eyes. She knows how bad her haircut is. She looks like she is saying, "Look what you did to me. I will never forgive you for this. Never."
You know how when you cut human hair, you're supposed to cut vertically into the end of the hair to make sure it doesn't look blocky and terrible? I think the same rule applies for dog haircuts. But honestly, I don't think that one little pro tip would have saved this one.
I understand that dogs can be squirmy and afraid of the clippers, so maybe that's what happened here. It really looks like this person shaved that one, sad patch and then gave up.
This dog owner chose to get wild with the clippers and give one of their dogs a mohawk and one a lion's mane. That lion's mane haircut I've seen before (although, not on a three-legged dog), but that mohawk is truly wild.
That poor pup is howling for his lost fur. Dogs may not technically wear clothes, but this dog is naked. There is no other way to describe it.
Speaking of naked dogs... This woman wrote on Twitter, "About a week ago my sister gave her dog a 'trim' at home with the clippers. I can't stop looking at her tiny pink turkey body." That's exactly it. A raw, pink turkey body.
Have you ever seen a dog grimace so clearly? He is absolutely disgusted by what his owner has done to him. If I was this dog's owner, I'd get ready for some revenge poops in the living room because they are coming.
This dog is clearly out for revenge, too. Unless it's just the haircut that made his eyebrows look so angry. I wouldn't put it past his owner to accidentally give him evil eyes.
It looks like this dog is wearing a removable coat of her own fur. Why would you shave only her neck and then stop?! It's not even cut evenly across!
I don't understand why people give this haircut to their dogs. I've seen it before and it's just so silly. I get that it's cooler for the dog to shave them, but is it really worth it?
This dog....changed shapes because of this haircut. He looks like a completely different dog. I think this list has led me to the conclusion that Pomeranians are the hardest dogs to groom. This is just terrible.
To be fair, this pup was in dire need of a haircut and does look slightly better with it. But it also looks like he ran into Edward Scissorhands while he was mad.
Not only does this dog look traumatized and hurt by what just happened to him, but he also looks totally betrayed. And that's what hurts most of all. Nah, you know what? On second thought, what hurts most of all is that weird, scraggly neck mane he's got going on.
"Mistakes were made," this dog owner wrote in their Reddit post. Yeah, I'd say. This looks like a classic case of saying, "I'll just take a little more off," until there's nothing left. Poor pup.
The only thing I have to say about this is, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." This is why you don't give yourself — or your dog — bangs. During quarantine or ever.
The haircut might be pretty bad (I want to snip those straggling hairs sticking straight up out of his head so badly), but this dog looks so happy, so none of the rest of it matters. Sure, he does sort of look like a chinchilla, as his owner points out, but that smile fixes everything.
Talk about haircuts making dogs look like completely different dogs! How are these two the same? Not going to lie, I do kind of love the moppy top. Reminds me of my grandma's perm.
Can you imagine giving your dog a bald spot and then being like, "Welp, guess I'm done!"? This dog doesn't know what he looks like yet. I hope he's not one of those dogs who can recognize themselves in the mirror.
Oh no. This person managed to give this one dog three different haircuts. The buzz cut is tragic, but so is the leg/face trim. And the tail? I don't even know what's happening back there. Let this be a lesson to all prospective pet owners out there: Choose short-haired dogs if you can't handle clippers.