If You Don't Want Children, the 'Gonna Tell My Kids' Meme Just Might Change Your Mind
Nov. 21 2019, Updated 5:57 p.m. ET
I honestly think that the main reason people have children is to subject them to ridicule for their entertainment. Forcing them into frumpy or silly clothing, making them perform weird dance numbers, and recording their reactions to eating lemons or throwing cheese on their faces - it's obvious we're turning them into little balls of entertainment. Heck, Kids Say the Darndest Things and Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader have been exploiting children for our amusement for years and years.
'Gonna tell my kids' memes that will make you laugh:
1. I will say, though, that the 'Gonna Tell my Kids' meme is probably the best example of this longtime phenomenon.
The premise is extremely simple: when you raise a child, you can pretty much subject them to the weirdest made-up facts and they'll go their entire lives believing them to be true.
2. Remember growing up thinking driving with the light on inside the car was illegal?
No, it isn't, your parents just want you to think that because they get annoyed by the light for whatever reason. Or maybe they just don't want you playing Gameboy in the backseat at night.
3. Or perhaps you grew up thinking that sitting too close to the TV would melt your eyes?
Or stepping outside with wet hair would literally kill you, or drinking milk after eating fish would "give you" vitiligo - shout out to my Desi peeps for that one.
4. But when you have a kid, you've got a blank slate.
So while some parents fill their kids' heads up with made-up nonsense like looking at pictures of naked people will make you burn in fire for all of eternity, why not make it more fun?
5. Like, I don't know, telling them that this dude is Thanos?
They're probably going to grow up in a time period where everyone thinks the Avengers are lame and believe our obsession with Superhero movies was weird and immature. Well joke's on them!
6. While you're at it, tell them that these dudes were the Russo brothers.
Yes, these two completely changed the landscape of Cinema and mega-sized movie productions in Hollywood as we know it.
7. Or, maybe, toy with history a bit.
Sure you might downplay one of the most significant moments in recent human memory, but, you gotta rep the Jersey Shore somehow.
8. You can tell them anything you want.
Honestly, it just looks like Titus from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt has been hitting the weight room. Dude's looking swole.
9. Maybe wait till your kids are a little older to lay this one on them?
I was 31 when I first saw this and still felt like I was too young to witness what I witnessed on Black Mirror's first episode. Great television though, geez.
10. All I'm going to say is...
...you never have seen Troy Aikman and Jay-Z in the same room at the same time, right? Crazier things have happened.
11. I don't even know what to say about this one.
I just know that whoever tweeted this had this photo in their camera roll and decided to jump in on the fun. And for that, I'm thankful.
12. This is a great idea.
Make them think that the fun, uplifting (yet emotionally hard-hitting) Pixar films are actually gritty survivalist dramas.
13. Think of the utter disappointment on their faces.
When they read about the epic tales of Indiana Jones and are presented with this... and then the slow clap they'll give you when they're older and realize their parent is an A+ troll.
14. To be fair, they don't have much in common.
One made up an assault, while the other, actually committed it on the football field. Then again, isn't the whole point of football assault?
15. Honestly, when they found out the truth they'd be disappointed.
No offense to the real Backstreet Boys but these kids managed to kill an eternal, evil being that eats children.
16. I can't be on board with this one.
How dare you do the kings of '90s sitcom like that. Plus, you'd really be hurting Michael Bay's feelings.
17. You can stop here.
This is the best one out of all of them now. I don't know why. I can't explain why it's so friggin good, it just is.
18. Fine, you kept going, it's understandable.
Warning: if you do this to your own kids, it wouldn't be very zigazig ah of you. No joke, I'm pretty sure those are original outfits the group wore.
19. Technically you wouldn't be wrong.
You don't have to specify which Royal Family in all honesty, so if they ever call you out on it, just remind them of that little fact.
20. Wait, what's so funny about this?
Friends is just downright awful and so are all of the main characters (except Phoebe, she's a great friend with mental problems), this poor woman's only flaw was her annoying Staten Island voice.
21. I spit my coffee out on this one.
Mostly because I have a longstanding theory that comes up whenever I'm inebriated that the Property Brothers are a little bit like Jaime and Cersei, if you know what I mean.
22. Now that's just mean.
Why would you compare a longstanding staple of our collective childhoods to this dude. Not cool, seriously.
23. Of course, it wouldn't be a collection of Twitter memes...
...without at least one K-Pop boy band reference. It's almost as if the genre owns the social media platform - wild.
24. You always need someone to turn the joke on its head.
Well the joke's on you, nerd, plenty of us have had parents who never said that they loved us and we turned out just fine. Now excuse me while I eat myself into a coma because it's the only thing that makes me happy.
25. The peak.
In a way, Joanne's right. If you take Rihanna's excellence and distilled it into its purest form and transitioned it into scammery, then this is entirely on point.
26. Wait, it isn't?
The best part is that Kevin Jonas himself tweeted this out. Let that sink in, people.
I'm honestly all for this meme and hope it sticks around for a while.
