Weddings should be joyous days filled with love and laughter. Wedding planning takes a lot of work, though, and the big day can be stressful, since there are usually a lot of moving parts.
One thing you definitely don't need on your wedding day is a homophobic "friend" who tries to sabotage your day by destroying your and your wife-to-be's wedding dresses, nearly derailing your plans, and introducing a ton of stress and terrible feelings into the whole affair. But that's exactly what happened to poor OP in this "Am I the A-hole?" post.
OP explains that she and her then-fiancée, "N," are both gay and female. They were planning their wedding and had lots of fun choosing their dresses. OP's fiancée chose a white dress, and OP chose "a gorgeous dress in sky blue."
They had a mutual friend she refers to as "S." He seemed a little weird when they told him about their engagement, but they just shrugged it off at the time.
"Fast forward to the day of the wedding," OP writes. "I wake up and I find out both my and N's dresses are missing." Could you imagine? On the day of your wedding? So they start frantically looking for the dresses, and OP texts S to ask if he'd seen them.
His answer was basically, "Gay people should not get married." Eventually, S admitted to stealing both their dresses with the help of N's sister and destroying them. How horrible is that?
OP tells him she'll be billing him $5,000 for the cost of both dresses. She also said that if they don't pay, she'd take them to court. She and N were understandably extremely upset. Their big day, the day of their wedding, had been sabotaged by two horribly homophobic people.
OP and N decided to wear other dresses they had, and they got married, "though the whole day was basically ruined," she wrote. After the wedding, S did actually pay the $5,000, so they took the money and cut him out of their lives after that.
Then, one of their mutual friends had the nerve to tell OP and N that it was inappropriate to charge S for the dresses because they weren't going to get them back anyway. But it's not about that, is it?! It's beside the point, but OP and N used the money to buy their dresses again to keep them as keepsakes for the future.
OP's friend got in her head, though, and now she's questioning whether it was the right thing to charge the person who ruined her wedding $5,000. Luckily, commenters had her back.
"I don't understand your mutual friend at all," one person wrote. "They stole your stuff, they have to return it or pay you an equivalent value..."
Another person wrote, "They stole and destroyed your property. It doesn't matter whether the money will be able to buy the exact same thing again or whether you'd use it again. You're entitled to be made whole. They're lucky you didn't go to the police for theft and mischief."
"What he did was disgusting and absolutely unacceptable behavior. Not to mention extremely childish and immature," another person wrote. Commenters assured OP that she was well within her rights to demand payment.
In a follow-up comment, OP explains that S lived with them. He stole the dresses, cut them up into pieces, and threw them away. Once they found out what happened, they kicked him out of the house and cut him out of their lives. Because they didn't get the chance to wear their wedding dresses on their wedding day, OP and N now wear them for their anniversaries and other formal events. When they're not wearing them, they're displayed in their home. A testament to their strength and the power of their relationship.