The Death of Charlie Kirk Is How We Discovered Kash Patel Wears a Youth Large — Let Us Explain

When it comes to acting in a professional manner, FBI Director Kash Patel is not the man for that job. There were hints of what was to come long before President Donald Trump nominated him for the prestigious position. In April 2022, he published a children's book titled The Plot Against the King, which depicts Trump as a monarch who is at the center of a conspiracy to bring him down. The villain is Hilary Clinton and the hero is a wizard named Kash. We couldn't make this stuff up, but Kash could!

Kash's time as director of the FBI is not without its controversies. He has been accused of using an FBI jet for personal reasons when he visited his girlfriend, who was performing at Penn State University. That could be a misuse of taxpayer dollars. His strange behavior isn't always unethical. Sometimes it's just plain cringey, or in this case, "plane" cringey, because Kash reportedly threw a fit on an airplane over an FBI raid jacket. Let's get into it.

As many women will tell you, picking out the right outfit for an event can make or break an occasion. That's why we're somewhat sympathetic to Kash's desire to look the part when he landed in Provo, Utah, the day after Charlie Kirk was assassinated. In a report from active-duty and retired FBI agents, shared by The Bulwark's Sam Stein on X (formerly Twitter), we learned that the FBI director was in desperate need of a costume change before he would exit the plane.

According to an agent known as Alpha 99, Kash refused to disembark from the plane unless he got an FBI raid jacket. Apparently, Kash forgot his and would not step foot outside the aircraft without the proper gear. Alpha 99 went on to say that agents were diligently working on investigating the Kirk murder when they had to stop in order to procure an official FBI raid jacket for Kash. He was specifically looking for a size medium.

They finally found a woman's size medium that belonged to one of the female FBI agents. There was just one problem: It was missing two FBI VELCRO® patches on the upper sleeves. That's when members of an FBI SWAT Team removed their patches so Kash could use them. At this point, Kash was able to leave the plane.

When Eric Swalwell (D-Calif.) shared Sam's post to his own X account, he made a little joke at Kash's expense. "I don’t mind that FBI Director Kash Patel had to wear a women’s (size medium) jacket to cosplay as someone in charge," wrote the California gubernatorial candidate. "I just wish he’d focus on stopping the rampant domestic terrorism happening on his watch."

Kash responded to those shots fired with what we assume is a joke, but honestly cannot be sure. He reposted Swalwell's sick burn, adding that he was actually searching for a youth large, before claiming that domestic terrorist arrests are up 30 percent in 2025.