Hey everybody, you know that if you don't like a person, you don't have to be in a relationship with them, right? I'm not sure the guy who wrote this "Am I the A-hole?" post understands that.
Bitter OP says that he hates all of his girlfriend's hobbies because he thinks they're childish and he has been trying to get her to try new ones. But as you'll soon see, his girlfriend is not the one with the problem here.
OP writes that his girlfriend is "nearly 25" years old, almost done with med school, and wants to start having kids in the next few years. According to him, though, she "acts like a child." She doesn't work, but that's only because she's in med school. She has been able to pay her rent using student aid and grants. But nothing about her professional life bothers him.
"All her interests are childish other than fitness and exercise," he writes. "The stuff she does is embarrassing. She's been coloring, doing puzzles, playing rated G video games like Animal Crossing, watching anime / Disney Plus, doing arts and crafts, and baking cupcakes / cookies." All...extremely normal adult hobbies.
But OP doesn't see it that way. He said he never had a problem with her hobbies until quarantine, when he realized that what she does all day is "similar to what my 10-year-old nieces do." "It's as if I'm dating a 10-year-old. No wonder my nieces adore her," he writes.
So, let me get this straight: He's mad at his girlfriend because she fills her time doing things like baking and playing video games and because his nieces love her. Dude.
OP told his girlfriend that her hobbies "bother" him, and she told him she likes doing things that she finds enjoying, relaxing, and nostalgic, which is extremely normal and fine. But he couldn't drop it.
He started suggesting what he perceives as more "grown up" hobbies. He bought her gardening equipment and a bread maker because I guess, according to his logic, baking bread is an adult activity but baking cookies is only for children. He does know pretty much every bakery in the world is owned and operated by adults, right?
She gave the gardening stuff to her mom and hasn't really used the bread maker because, oh, I don't know, those aren't the things she's interested in? Who wants to be forced into hobbies they don't enjoy?!
It became clear to commenters right away that if this guy actively detests his girlfriend's favorite things, maybe he just doesn't like her very much and shouldn't be with her. "Why do people date people they don't like?" one person wrote. "Honestly. Her hobbies sound amazing — she has lots of things she enjoys doing and that's amazing!! Why are any of those hobbies 'childish'?"
One person pointed out that activities like coloring are good for relaxation (adult coloring books are their own genre now!), that puzzles are good for stimulating your brain, and that plenty of adults play Animal Crossing. It truly sounds like this guy thinks adults are not supposed to have any fun or do anything that soothes them... ever. What a sad way to live!
"It sounds like you’re the one who needs to grow up," one very blunt commenter wrote. "If you don’t like her hobbies, you’re welcome to be single. She’s on a difficult career path and if she enjoys easy, relaxing hobbies when she has a spare minute, let her enjoy what she enjoys."