Dating during a pandemic can't be easy. It's hard to form lasting connections when you're not supposed to gather in public spaces and you should keep at least six feet of distance between you and any strangers at all times. But one guy, Nate Hoffeditz, isn't letting COVID-19 stop him from advertising his availability.
He recently went viral on Facebook for his hilarious, punny collections of dating profile photos from the quarantine. If these don't make you want to date Nate in the apocalypse, I don't know what to tell you.
“Let me be your prince Charmin.”
The coronavirus pandemic has people hoarding supplies like toilet paper. The mere fact that Nate seems to be stocked up means he's dating material. And he doesn't just have toilet paper. He's got Charmin Strong. That's the good stuff. Let him be your Prince Charmin.
“The only thing infectious in this home... is laughter.”
Look at that smile — I mean, that spread of cleaning products. He's got everything! Disinfectant spray, hand wash, even fancy Method soap. And he clearly knows the importance of regularly washing his hands. What else do you need during a pandemic?
“Just looking for a love that’s non-perishable...”
Folks, if your love is half as non-perishable as all those canned goods in Nate's cabinet, you two will be happy for a very long time. You want a shelf-stable partnership, you know?
“The only thing I’m not afraid of catching, is feelings.”
OK, it may have taken me until the fourth picture to realize this, but someone else is taking these photos for Nate. Who is it? Are they dating? Is it serious? Have they been exposed to the coronavirus? This is information we need to know during a pandemic.
“Baby you should let me gLOVE you.”
Sure, this pose is something else, but I'm just impressed that Nate managed to stock up on disposable gloves and paper towels. I've been out of paper towels for days now and have tried finding them everywhere. Maybe I need Nate in my life, if only for access to scarce paper goods.
“Talk clean to me.”
Nate's first collection of dating profile photos from his quarantine was such a hit — we're talking 72,000 reactions, 42,000 comments, and 229,000 shares — he decided to do a second batch, and this is the first of batch number two.
We've moved to the bedroom, folks. This is getting serious.
“I’ve had the quaranTIME of my life, and I owe it all to you.”
Nate's not joking around with this one. Once you take a picture with a perfect dog, all bets are off. He's probably getting serious marriage proposals at this point. A dog is precious company during a quarantine. And this looks like a Very Good Dog.
“Who is gonna lock me down?”
Now, this photo is a little creepy, I have to say. It could either be a sexy social distancing pose or the picture of a serial killer who's excited he just broke into his latest victim's house. That being said, we love some responsible social distancing.
“Let me write you a prescription to get vacciNATEd.”
Nate, if you were the one person in the world with an effective vaccine for the coronavirus, you better believe people would be lining up outside your door. I bet they would offer to go out with you for a shot, too.
Unfortunately, there is no vaccine available yet, though clinical trials have been approved in China as of Wednesday, March 18.
“I’m ready to jump into a social-distance relationship.”
Dang. Nate's got everything you need in a partner during a pandemic: Toilet paper, paper towels, canned goods, disinfectant, soap, gloves, masks, and a sense of humor. His photos have been shared hundreds of thousands of times by now, but if you're in the market for a partner to spend the apocalypse with, reach out to Nate!
Don't reach out too far though. Remember, six feet. At all times.
The best way to prevent contracting or spreading coronavirus is with thorough hand washing and social distancing. If you feel you may be experiencing symptoms of coronavirus, which include persistent cough (usually dry), fever, shortness of breath, and fatigue, please call your doctor before going to get tested. For comprehensive resources and updates, visit the CDC website. If you are experiencing anxiety about the virus, seek out mental health support from your provider or visit NAMI.org.