'Got Toddlered' Instagram Shows the Effects of Becoming a Parent

Robin Zlotnick - Author

Aug. 28 2019, Updated 2:44 p.m. ET

Becoming a parent does something to a person. Maybe before you went out every night and partied hard. Maybe you danced 'til the morning light. But now, you probably fall asleep on the couch at 6 p.m. with spit-up running down your shirt. It's just what happens. It's what happens to me, and I don't even have a kid yet. I'm only half-kidding. 

Got Toddlered is an Instagram account that celebrates what happens when you become a parent. They post before-and-after shots of people who've been saddled with babies. The differences are drastic.

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One key difference I notice between people who are not parents and people who have kids is that the people without kids are often awake, whereas the people with children are always asleep or complaining about how they're not asleep.


When you become a parent, your face is no longer your own. It will be covered in stickers and baby food and vomit and hair clips and expressions of horror. And that's just the way it is. 

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It looks like before these two became parents, he was a race car driver. But you can't take that kind of risk once you're responsible for another human life. Now, they're raising their own little daredevil. It may be a different kind of car, but I can tell she's got that competitive spirit. 

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Before she had a kid, she could float completely on top of the water without a care in the world. Now, she's got a kid who's constantly weighing her down, and while she'd pretending to relax, I'm sure she's secretly making sure her kid isn't drowning every two seconds.

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From mechanical bull rider to baby tamer, this is one badass mom. And just look at the smirk on that kid's spit-up streaked face. He knows exactly what he's doing to his poor old mama. 

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I bet the woman on the right would do anything...anything...to chug a glass of what she's holding in the picture on the left. The mom / wine stereotype is funny because it's true. If the baby has a drink, mom deserves one, too. That should be the standard.

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I don't understand why he looks so upset in the picture on the right. Sure, he looked good in a suit, but that's nothing compared to how glamorous and chic he looks with a gold bow on his head and a red ballet tutu around one of his legs, pushed up over his camouflage cargo shorts. It's a look!

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She probably thought that was a lot of beer at the time, but today, it wouldn't be nearly enough. She'd need at least a keg's worth to get over this new baby vomiting all over everything she owns.

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Before he was a dad, his left shoulder was reserved for that big ol' beer bottle. It was his baby. Now, he's got an actual baby on his shoulder. I have to say, the human baby is much more adorable. 

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He was a straight-up catalog model in his younger years. That smoldering look...hoo boy! But I'm sorry, the dramatic photo on the left has nothing on this sweet pic on the right. I think he finally nailed the hairstyle that he should make his signature look.

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This might be the most drastic change, and yes, it is 100 percent because of those cute but clearly hard-to-handle twins. This young mom's expression went from carefree and fancy free to completely overwhelmed. Those babies are lucky they're super adorable.

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Ah, this is the ultimate. The too-cool-for-school rocker dude turned total dad. In my opinion, he looks way cooler in the picture with his daughter than the one in which he's wearing a V-neck shirt that's so low you could probably see his belly button.

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She's still lying down these days, relaxing when she can, but instead of being bombarded by UV rays, her windpipe is crushed by a small human who, no doubt, has stinky stuff emanating from his backside. Almost the same, but also not.

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Sure, it was probably fun to go drinking and dancing with your friends, but you simply cannot beat being in charge of a teeny tiny human who looks exactly like you when you cry. That's priceless. 

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They always tell you to take the vacations of your dreams before you have kids because, once they arrive, it's over. That principle has never been more clearly illustrated than in these two photos. Once you're a parent, vacations become kid-chasing adventures. 

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She was an actual model before she had a baby! Now, she's still a model, or at least she would be if she wasn't too tired to keep her eyes open. But look at that tiny human! So cute. So perfect. So worth it. 

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There's nothing that makes you tougher and cooler than donning a bright pink tutu, crown, and cape to hang out with your daughter. This dad thought he knew what it meant to be a man, but he clearly had no idea until he had a kid.

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When she wore her "Living the Dream" shirt in Rome, she probably thought that would be the most exciting adventure that shirt would ever be on. But oh, how wrong she was. Sure, it might be covered in spit-up, but parenthood is ten times as exciting an adventure as a trip to Italy.

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I hope this dad saved all those dollar bills he was holding in the photo on the right because raising a kid is extremely expensive. But look at his face! Dollar bills or no dollar bills, he seems so much happier now.

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got toddlered
Source: Instagram

This poor pup used to look so peaceful and regal. Look at him now. What have you done? his expression says. It used to be small and cute. Now it is big and on top of me. Help. Make it stop. 

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