“Run, Girl” — Woman’s Method of Getting Back at Her Boyfriend for Not Cleaning Needs Some Work

A woman's boyfriend refused to help her clean the kitchen, stating, "It's yours, not mine." Her reaction could have been better.

Elizabeth Randolph - Author

Nov. 1 2023, Published 12:00 p.m. ET

In romantic relationships, a conventional step to growing together can be sharing the same living spaces. While moving in together can bring some couples closer, it can also expose what each person in the relationship defines as cleaning up.

Cleaning tasks, or lack thereof, have been known to be one of the leading causes of breakups, especially when one person in the relationship works harder to keep up the apartment, condo, house, etc. than the other.

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One woman experienced this dilemma when she told TikTok that her boyfriend refused to help her clean their space. She then shared the “petty” way she chose to fix her problem.

A woman pointing at a man as he sweeps.
Source: Getty Images
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A woman moved her boyfriend’s trash to the side as she cleaned their apartment.

One notable critique of rom-com is that even the best ones fail to show the reality the couple faces after finally getting together at the end of the movie (unless there’s a typically unnecessary sequel). So, when some people get into relationships, few know that living with a partner can sometimes mean you’ve unintentionally inherited a dependent in your household.

We’re not going to male bash and say it’s usually the men in these romantic relationships who become the dependent ones who forget (or, worse, never learned) how to clean once they move in with their significant other. However, in Vanessa’s (@@333vanessababy) case, her boyfriend deserves to be dragged for his uncleanliness.

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In October 2023, Vanessa shared a moment of “#femininerage” on her TikTok account. Vanessa posted a clip of her kitchen with a pile of trash. She then explained in the video’s text that she had cleaned the entire kitchen but left her boyfriend’s things to the side after he complained about helping her tidy up.

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“My boyfriend would never help me clean the kitchen because ‘it’s yours, not mine,”’ Vanessa explained. “So I started putting his things to the side when I clean. And now he’s mad at me, and I’m petty.”

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Many of the woman’s TikTok followers urged her to leave her boyfriend — STAT!

Although Vanessa thought she ate by showing her boyfriend all the trash he’s collected in their kitchen, I’d like to provide a different perspective. Clearly, Vanessa wasn’t the only one who created a mess in the kitchen, but putting his things to the side and cleaning the kitchen anyway still results in him not helping out with the household task — which is likely exactly what he wanted, girl!

It felt good to know I wasn’t the only one fighting the urge to shake some sense into Vanessa. Underneath the TikToker’s comments, she received multiple “run, sis, run” messages from people who felt her boyfriend’s actions were bright red flags. Several commenters even warned Vanessa that, despite her “petty” efforts, her boyfriend likely has no plans to change his ways.

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“Run, girl. Don't look back,” one commenter begged Vanessa. “He won't change.”

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“It doesn't matter how clearly you prove your point,” said another. “He will find another reason not to do it. This will never change, so plan accordingly.”

“I remember doing this for years. Now, I'm single and happy, and everything is the way I like my things,” a third user quipped.

Let’s hope Vanessa takes her TikTok community’s advice and moves on to someone who takes the “it’s ours” approach to mess!

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