14 People Who Should Never Be Allowed in Restaurants

Nearly everyone knows how to act in a restaurant. There is a certain unspoken social code that we all naturally adhere to because we are considerate and upstanding members of the human race. We clean up after ourselves at self-service places. We tip our servers generously. At the bare minimum, we wear clothes. 

These are the things that the restaurant heathens shown here haven't grasped. These people are so bad at being in public spaces, especially ones in which other people are trying to eat, that they should be banned from all restaurants forever.

I am the biggest dog person in the world. If I could, I would make the entire world dog-friendly. Dogs are the absolute best creatures on the planet. I have one cuddled up next to me as I type this. But for the love of all that is holy, do not let your dogs on the table at a restaurant for humans. These dummies are giving dog people a bad name and likely ruining it for all the other considerate pet owners who would like to bring their dogs to restaurants.

OK, I'll just say it: These are monster people. This is some weird power trip mind game that I do not appreciate at all, and I am not even a restaurant server! Servers deal with way too much to have to cater to these evil human experimenters. Also, there's no way five dollars was a generous tip for a meal at a restaurant that serves you baskets of bread. There's so much wrong with this post I cannot even.

Whoops! Here is a little tip for you, free of charge: If you have drugs on you, that's maybe not the best time to go out in public, especially if you are prone to losing things. If you so much as left this little baggie of meth along with a receipt, you would be totally screwed! 

But now I'm imagining someone responding to this post like, "OMG! Thank you soooooo much, I had no idea where it went! LOL you are such a life saver! Lemme know when's a good time to come pick it up!"

This is shocking and disgusting and so disrespectful. I don't care if it's a fast food restaurant. Pick up your garbage after you're done! How does it even end up on the floor like that?! This is insane. And that poor guy sitting in the back looks completely traumatized. 

I feel pretty confident saying that whoever left all this garbage was also probably loud and obnoxious while they were in the restaurant eating. 

Why is it so hard for people to keep their shoes on in public spaces?! Not only is it gross for all of us who have to look at her bare feet while we're trying to chow down, but it can't be clean for her, either. Restaurant floors aren't your home. They're covered in germs that other people have trekked in from literally all over the place! I would not put my bare feet on the floor or the booth of a restaurant, and neither should you.

Speaking of feet, what the actual hell. We get it. You injured your foot. It's in a boot. It's probably painful and people should feel sorry for you. But in no world is it appropriate for you to put your foot on the table at a restaurant. That is literally the surface off of which people eat. It's amazing to me that she has other people with her who seem to be condoning this kind of behavior. So gross.

Yes, this man brought a plastic bag, which is actually the bag from a container of Quaker Oat caramel-flavored rice cakes (delicious), into a restaurant to stock up on free ice. I have so many questions. First, can you imagine doing this in public and just not being embarrassed at all? Second, do you think he washed the bag first? Or is he going to go home with a bag full of ice cubes coated in caramel dust?

This looks like a very nice restaurant. White table cloths, bread baskets, fruity cocktails... This is not the place to start macking on your partner hard in the corner. I never feel like more of an old woman than when I see couples displaying way too much public affection, but I can't help it! It's gross! We don't want to see it. You can't possibly think we want to see it. Save it for the bedroom!

I know this picture is very blurry but I had to include it because WHAT. Now, I cannot lie to you. When I saw this picture, I burst out laughing. Hard. It's hilarious. But it's also so dangerous. And unthinkable. Those straps are not there for you to hang your baby from the back of your chair like a backpack. If I was another customer in that restaurant, I would not be able to finish my meal. I'd be so concerned!

Sorry, one moment, I have to pause to pick my jaw up off the floor after seeing this picture of a white family donning bamboo hats at a Chinese restaurant. This is unforgivable and completely racist and I would say that I can't believe this happened, but unfortunately in today's society, it's not all that uncommon. I just can't imagine what would possess people to think this is a good or even remotely acceptable idea.

When I go to Pizza Hut, I usually get one large pie, an order of cinnamon sticks, and one giant toilet paper roll from the bathroom. I don't know about you. My question is how did she even get this? Those things are usually kept under lock and key. Maybe she destroyed one of those Kimberly Clark toilet paper holders to get it, in which case, honestly, respect. She's going to need it after eating all that Pizza Hut pizza.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "This cannot possibly be a picture of a woman changing her child's diaper on the table of a restaurant where people are expected to eat." I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is exactly what this picture is. His bare butt is touching the spot where your burger is about to be, and that is not OK.

I don't think this is from the same woman who was changing her kid in the middle of the restaurant, but it could have been! People who leave their kids' dirty diapers for restaurant servers to clean up are awful. I know that you don't want to carry around a dirty diaper all day, but it doesn't matter. It's your responsibility! No one else should have to touch that poop balloon filled with your child's excrement.

Honestly, I'm less concerned about the sex doll in Jimmy John's than the bottle of wine with a plastic cup on top. Who's popping bottles at Jimmy John's?! What kind of sad bachelorette party nonsense is this? If I end up at a Jimmy John's with a sex doll during my bachelorette party, take my friends out back and have a stern conversation with them as to why this is tragic and unacceptable. No thank you!