He's finally living his authentic self.
YouTube star Ricky Dillon opened up to fans in a new 18-minute video addressing his sexuality. Previously identifying as asexual, the singer-songwriter explained that he has struggled to come to terms with who he is for years, saying that he was "terrified" to admit that he is not heterosexual.
The content creator explained to his 3 million followers that he felt "disingenuous" when he shared the announcement in 2016 that he identified as asexual. “I started to slowly realize that I’m gay a couple of years ago. I would say 2017 ... and ever since I’ve slowly realized it more. Adding, "I am 1000 percent sure I’m gay.”
YouTuber Ricky Dillon opens up about why he hid his sexuality in new video.
The 27-year-old revealed that he had a hard time coming to terms with being gay, explaining that he suffered from "crippling anxiety" because of his religious background.
“It was drilled into my brain from an early age that being gay is one of the worst things that could happen,” he said. "I am so terrified they’re not going to accept me for being gay because I know their beliefs."
Adding, "I love my family so much, but I don’t agree with what they believe in in this scenario."
Ricky continued to explain to fans that he has wanted to come out for several years, admitting, “I don’t think I would be doing this if it weren’t for some many brave YouTubers coming out honestly.”
Before publicly coming out as gay, the YouTuber said that he tried hard to "be straight" and even had a dozen girlfriends in his life, but it felt "wrong and awkward."
After failing to feel a connection with the numerous women he had dated, Ricky felt that he may be asexual. "My mind had somehow convinced myself that being gay is off the table and there’s no way I could be gay,” he said, addressing the video he had made four years prior in which he came out as asexual. “I came to the conclusion that I must be asexual because nothing made sense.”
Now, Ricky has accepted his sexuality and told fans that he has even been with "several guys," admitting that "it's the most natural and comfortable thing ever." He added, "It just clicks. It all makes sense and it feels right and I finally feel like I’m myself.”
At the end of the video, Ricky said that he would come out to his parents before uploading the video; however, he has not yet shared how they reacted to the news.
After the video was posted on YouTube, he tweeted how thankful he was for the growing support to him coming out. "Just wanted to come on here and thank you all for the wonderful love and support you’ve shown me today. I’m truly so overwhelmed, in the best way. I’ve never felt so relieved and at peace before in my entire life. Just been processing and letting myself breathe all day. love you.”