Are you prepared to see the saddest salad you'll ever see in your entire life? I don't know if you are. A tourist who was recently visiting Germany paid 6 Euros (approximately $7) for a "salad" that is literally just a plate of sliced tomatoes with a sprinkle of raw onion on top. No dressing, no cheese....no nothing.
It's been posted to the "S--ty Food Porn" subreddit, where it definitely belongs. And that's where it went viral. Because it's so incredibly sad. I mean, look at this thing.
It's tragic in so many ways. First of all, that's...too many tomatoes? Like, even if you meant to just have tomatoes, you'd cut up one or two tomatoes and call it a snack. But this is easily three or four tomatoes, which is too many tomatoes to eat in one setting.
Second of all, oh I don't know, everything about it makes me want to weep. That little pile of crudely chopped raw onion is almost insulting, and there's no dressing or seasoning to be seen...anywhere. Not even a salt shaker! Does this restaurant really expect someone to eat a plate of plain tomatoes?!
Commenters agreed. "They forgot the cucumber and vinaigrette," one person wrote. It's almost insulting how close this plate is to an acceptable salad. All it needs is like, one more vegetable and some dressing, and it would be fine. Or some mozzarella and balsamic vinegar. But as it stands, it is very not acceptable.
One dramatic commenter wrote, "This is the worst thing I've seen on this sub. Literally my two most hated foods put together in a profane and disturbing way. I didn't want my day to start out like this." This picture literally ruined someone's day.
Of course, the tomato salad (more like sad-ad) is not the only disappointing dish featured on S--ty Food Porn. While many of the entries are homemade monstrosities, every once in a while a truly terrible purchase will eke through, like this horrifying popsicle, for instance.
It's supposed to be a happy face, but it's clearly some demonic Walter White type character. The only thing you can do at this point is eat it as quickly as possible (without getting brain freeze) to make the scary man go away.
But the Breaking Bad villain pop and the tragic tomato "salad" truly have nothing on some of the greater homemade horrors that can be found on S--ty Food Porn. Before you look at the next picture, just know that I am sorry, and I do not think there's anything I could do to make it up to you.
That is, unfortunately, a cold tortilla filled with Oreo cookies and...ranch dressing. Like I said, I am so so sorry, but I also accept that I have wronged you and that you may never trust me to show you anything ever again. I get it. I understand. I've betrayed your trust.
This horrifying combination is now forever burned in our brains. We'll see it behind our eyelids when we try to sleep at night. We'll hear faint scratching at our doors and worry that the cursed Oreo ranch taco is trying to claw its way into our homes.
The mere thought of this terrible snack makes me gag. The tomato salad was disappointing in a profound way. It stripped you of your will to dine and made you extremely sad for the person who paid actual money for it. But the Oreo ranch taco is so much more aggressively disturbing. And I apologize for bringing it into your life.