Imagine this: You've spent a year planning your perfect wedding. It's now mere weeks away, and every detail is in place. Deposits have been put down. But then, you learn that your fiancé cheated on you. You're devastated. On top of mourning the loss of your relationship, you now have to cancel an entire wedding. But it's too painful. So you enlist your mom and your sister to help.
Then, after believing your family has been helping to cancel plans while you cry and eat ice cream, they approach you with a proposition. Your sister is engaged. And you were almost done planning your wedding. So, why doesn't your sister just... take your wedding? You'd throw the pint of ice cream at their heads, wouldn't you? This "Am I the A-hole?" post on Reddit is basically this story, plus, oh, just a few more heart-wrenching details.
Less than a month before her wedding, which was set for February 1 (the ex-couple's anniversary), OP found out her fiancé had cheated on her. She broke off the engagement and was completely devastated. She had paid for most of the wedding herself (about 60 percent of it), and her parents contributed about 40 percent of it to make it a little bigger.
Since it wasn't her ex-fiancé's money, he left her in charge of canceling everything. Real cool, dude. Understandably, it was too painful for her to call all the vendors and the venue to cancel. Her sister had helped her with a ton of the wedding planning, so OP asked if she and their mom would make the calls.
"Next thing I know," she writes, "my mother and sister are asking me if I wouldn't mind my sister just...taking my wedding. Every part of it, from the venue to the cake and everything in between." The only thing that would be different was the wedding dress, and her sister even proposed that to save money, she might want to wear OP's and have it tailored to her instead.
Psychotic, right? It's bad enough that her sister suggested this, but the fact that her mom was on board with it too is just beyond. It's been three weeks since OP called off her engagement. She's a total emotional wreck. And her sister and mom thought she wouldn't mind just handing her completely planned wedding — date, dress, and all — to her sister.
Then, OP finds out her sister has already called their family and told them she was taking over the wedding. Her fiancé did the same. Both their families are now planning to attend a wedding that until a few weeks ago would have been this broken-hearted bride's February 1 wedding. Remember: this had been her anniversary with the ex-fiancé who betrayed her. Beyond cold-blooded.
To OP's credit, when her sister asked if she was OK with it, she "told her to go f--k herself." She came to Reddit to ask if she'd be wrong to go ahead and cancel things and get her money back. She has until the 23rd to do so. While she would lose some deposits, she could recoup about two-thirds of the money she's spent on the wedding and would pay her parents back for what they contributed.
Commenters were on OP's side. "Your family is being beyond insensitive to your situation. Absolutely cancel it all, and then tell them about it," one person writes. "Your family's horrible for not clearing it with you first," another writes. "Your wedding fell apart due to your ex cheating on you, and everyone's first thought was to let your sister take your wedding without taking your feelings into account? Dawg that's beyond f--ked up."
In response to that particular comment, OP writes, "When I asked what the f--k they were thinking my sister actually said to me, 'It's not like he died,' like cheating was the reason they chose to do this." It's official (if it wasn't before). Her sister is a monster. She also wanted OP to be her maid of honor! Meaning, as OP put it, "I'll be standing up front in the dress that was meant for her while she stands a few feet away in the dress that was meant for me." Legit insane.
One commenter wrote that she was justified in doing what she was doing, but to "prevent a total family freak out," she might want to give her sister the chance to pay her in full for the wedding before the cancel-by date of the 23rd. Because she is apparently a saint, OP decided to give her that option. But her sister had the nerve to say she was hoping to essentially pay her for only half of the cost — over the course of ten months,
In the end, OP canceled all the arrangements herself, possibly spurred on by this newfound rage. In that sense, her sister and mother kind of did her a favor, eh? She didn't get as much money back as she'd hoped, but at least now she doesn't have to stand and watch her sister co-opt her entire wedding.
She says the wedding venue is now free, so if her sister wants to book it herself and rebook all the vendors, she's welcome to — but she's no longer involved. She writes that she is drafting a Facebook post to tell her whole family what really happened here. Hopefully they'll understand why she did what she did. I would pay good money to watch the comments on that post roll in.