"Dad Had Another Woman in Our Apartment" — Teacher Shares Unbelievable 2nd Graders' Quotes

When they say kids say the darnedest things, they’re not lying, they really do say the darnedest things! And if you have kids, then you know. But if you don’t, and your job doesn’t put you around them, a second-grade teacher is here to spill the tea on just how wild their little comments can get.

In a TikTok shared at the end of the school year, Mr. Holmes (@_dreholmes) runs through a list of things his second graders said to him, some hilarious, some a little concerning, but all absolutely priceless.

I won’t waste any more time; let’s get into his list!

Being a teacher is, without a doubt, one of the most rewarding (but also toughest) jobs out there (I speak from experience). But it can also be wildly entertaining because kids are open books. They’ll tell you anything and everything. And Mr. Holmes’s TikTok proves it. His second graders (who, as one commenter hilariously pointed out, sound like they came straight from a Real Housewives cast lineup) didn’t hold back with their comments.

First up was a remark about the teacher himself. One student casually said, “Mr. Holmes, my momma found your TikTok and called you fine.” A little surprised but presumably flattered, he replied in the video, “Thanks, Mom.”

No. 2 on the list is a bathroom review no one asked for: “The boys’ bathroom smells like wet dog.” Mr. Holmes couldn’t argue with that one and admitted, “It does … it does.”

But it’s this next quote that left everyone in the comments section stunned: “Can I write a letter to my dad? He went to jail last night.” Sadly, Mr. Holmes confirmed, “Um, I looked it up, and he indeed went to jail.”

Next, a student had Mr. Holmes questioning just how old he must look when they asked, “Did you see when God created the sun?” He joked that his students clearly think he’s been around since the beginning of time.

As for No. 5, well, that one was a completely unsolicited overshare about a student’s grandpa: “My pawpaw has a hairy back.” Poor Pawpaw got exposed!

Next up was a conversation Mr. Holmes overheard between two students, one of whom had his shoes off for no apparent reason. I guess the student sitting next to him caught a whiff and said, “Your feet smell like booty hallelujah.” Not exactly sure what that smells like… but OK!

This next one might just be the worst of them all (if it’s true): “We are staying with my aunty because Dad had another woman in our apartment.” Mr. Holmes said he always asks his students on Monday mornings what they did over the weekend. Safe to say, that student’s weekend was very different from the rest.

And finally, maybe the most honest kid of all: “I was late because my momma had to do her edges.” Honestly, should that even count as being late?